Breast is best! No matter how you look at it!

The same argument almost daily on cafemom. I have been staying out of it because I am very confident in what I did for my children. I find most moms bad mouth breastfeeding because they feel guilty because they did not do it and they are jealous of people who stuck it out.

With Christina I was uneducated and had very little support. I want to breastfeed but I also had to go to high school. Unfortunately I did not know what I know now. Do I regret it? Yes I do. I could have gave her a better start in life. She was only 5 lbs and I think it would have made a big difference. I am not going to lie she was sick alot. She hardly ever gets sick now but she did when she was little. I wish I would have least tried harder at it and gave her the colostrum. I admit it I made a mistake. My child is smart but when I compare her to Avanelle at this age I think Avanelle catches on to things faster. She is never hardly sick. I hate comparing but I have one breastfed and one not. It's a good example of things.

With Avanelle I was very educated. I could care less about how much support I had. All I needed was my husband's support. He of course wanted me to breastfeed. He even tried to help me in the early days when I had no idea what I was doing. Thank goodness for some really nice nurses at MGH who showed me how and the lactation consultant. I could call her anytime and she was there to help me. The first 6 weeks were hard. They tested me but I was strong. I knew what I wanted to do and even though latching was tough at first I held on. I knew if I kept trying it would work. By the time I went back to work I was a pro. I also figured out how to breastfeed and sleep at the same time. Avanelle grew like a weed. She never had one cold. She crawled early and walked early. She knows all her abcs. Can put her name is order and numbers in order. She knows what opposites are. She is doing well with cutting and pasting. She also can read small words. She is probably ready for Kindergarten! She talks very very well. Some people have asked if she is five or six. She can sit and concentrate on one activity at a time. I bought her a leapster and you would not believe how much more she has learned. She can spell her name outloud and tell you her address. I am very impressed with my little girl.

Tina is very smart too. Like I said I hate to compare. Tina is doing very well in all her subjects and is getting very good grades. She is reading at a higher level then most kids her age. So Tina is smart too. I just have to say she could probably be smarter if I would have breastfed her. I have no problem admitting that. I am not perfect. I am proud of her. I told Tina that I wish I did breastfed her. Not only for the wonderful side effects but because it makes a bond that you cannot even get close to unless you breastfeed. I do not know how to describe it. I have a bond with Tina and it is strong. I just wish I would have had the breastfeeding bond. You cannot get that by formula feeding. It is not the same. Unless you have done it you will not know what I am talking about nor be able to understand it. I of course never told Tina this. When she is older and is having a baby I plan to encourage her too. I might try to explain the bond thing but I would not want to hurt her feelings. So it would matter.

Advantages to breastfeeding? Do I really have to go there? Probably because there are so many!

• Children receive the most complete and optimal mix of nutrients & antibodies

• The varying composition of breastmilk keeps pace with the infant's individual growth and changing nutritional needs

• Have fewer incidences of vomiting and diarrhea in the US (20-35 million episodes of diarrhea occur in children under the age of 5, resulting in over 200,000 hospitalizations and 400-500 deaths in the U.S.)

• Protection against gastroenteritis, necrotizing entercolitis

• Reduced risk of chronic constipation, colic, and other stomach upsets

• Reduced risk of childhood diabetes

• Protection against ear infections, respiratory illnesses, pneumonia, bronchitis, kidney infections, septicemia (blood poisoning), Ava has never had any of these!
  

• Protection against allergies, asthma, eczema, and severity of allergic disease

• Reduced risk of SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome) Statistics reveal that for every 87 deaths from SIDS, only 3 are breastfed.

• Protection against meningitis, botulism, childhood lymphoma, crohn's disease and ulcerative entercolits

• Decreased risk of tooth decay (cavities)

• Nursing promotes facial structure development, enhanced speech, straighter teeth and enhances vision. Ava has perfect vision and said her first sentence at 1!
  

• Breastfed infants develop higher IQ's, and have improved brain and nervous system development; IQ advantage of 10-12 points studied at ages 8, 12, and 18. (Breastfeeding is considered the 4th trimester in brain growth and development...there are specific proteins in human milk that promote brain development))

• Reduced risk of heart disease later in life

• Increased bone density

• Breastfeeding plays an important role in the emotional and spiritual development of babies

• Breastfed babies enjoy a special warm bonding and emotional relationship with their mothers

• Antibody response to vaccines are higher

• Are hospitalized 10 times less than formula fed infants in the first year of life

• The colostrum (first milk) coats the GI tract, preventing harmful bacteria and allergy -triggering protein molecules from crossing into baby's blood

• Decreased risk for vitamin E and Iron deficiency anemia

• Decreased risk for acute appendicitis, rheumatoid arthritis, inguinal hernia, pyloric stenosis

• There are factors in human milk that destroy E coli, salmonella, shigella, streptococcus, pneumococcus....and many others

• Less risk of childhood obesity I could go on and on and on

Mother's benefits

• Reduced risk of breast, ovarian, cervical, and endometrial cancers

• Reduced risk of anemia

• Protection against osteoporosis and hip fracture later in life

• Reduced risk of mortality for women with rheumatoid arthritis (RA) has been associated with total time of lactation

• Helps the mother's body return to its pre-pregnancy state faster - promotes weight loss...1/2 of calories needed to manufacture milk is pulled from fat stores... can burn from 500 - 1,500 calories per day.

• Helps delay return of fertility and to space subsequent pregnancies

• Develops a special emotional relationship and bonding with her child

• Breastmilk is free- reducing or eliminating the cost of formula (in the thousands of dollars/per year)

• Breastfed babies are sick less thus reducing healthcare costs to family in Doctor office visits, prescriptions, over the counter medicine purchases, and hospitalizations

• Moms miss less time off from work due to child related illnesses

• Helps the uterus contract after birth to control postpartum bleeding

My sister plans on breastfeeding and I am very proud of her. She is excited and cannot wait to have the baby so she can start. So in a nut shell breast is best. Those who say is it not must feel guilty or jealous. People that think it is nasty need to grow the hell up! It is natural and the best thing for every baby!

I start back to work Monday!

So I am sitting talking to my mother in law while she uses our washer and dryer. Anyway I get a text. Amber is making up the schedule for next month and she wants to know when I can start back. I told her Monday. So I guess Bob gave her an ear full for trying to screw me over on hours! Ha! I am so glad I have him in my corner. I will not let him down. I cannot wait to see the girls! Oh my gosh I have missed them. I love doing things with them and helping them. For me it is not just a job. It is a way to help other people. I love my job and I love my life!! Everything always works out!!!

On another note, I got my bed set for the baby yesterday. It is super cute! I am going to do a rocket theme. I have tons of ideas. I am going to get a stick on mural, re-paint, have the girls make a rocket chandelier, going to buy a rug, paint pictures for the nursery, and get everything set up and put together. It is going to be super nice. I cannot wait to share my pictures when it is done.

Randy is working really hard on the cradle. I went out there and he was working away! He has the base completly done. Now all he has to do is put it together. I am thinking he is going to be sent out for the crib wood really soon. Probably by this weekend. I never seen a more excited Daddy. He would have been excited about having another girl , but he is so glad we got what we wanted. If any man deserves a son it is him. He is a good hard working man that will teach his son how to be a real man. This world is very deprived of them. All you have to do is look at this town and you see unemployed lazy men. My son will not be one of those. All because he will have a great daddy! There is nobody else I would rather have a son with.

So life gets back to normal on Monday. I will have my routine back. Work two days a week and every other weekend. The perfect balance of work and home. Works for me!

In five months we will have a son! I cannot get over how the Shettles method works! I am passing the book along to a friend at work. She really wants a girl! Hopefully it works for her. Then she will have one of each! Life is great and cannot get any better! Family, job, and expecting more joy soon. I am just on cloud nine! Fantastic really!

Good things happen to good people!

I do not believe in a higher power. I believe this life is what you make of it. If you do good things and you are good people then good things will come to you. No higher power included in that. For instance, I am a good employee, I have done good things for the ladies I work for. Therefor, I get my job back. Once again no higher power involved in that. Just me doing the right thing and it getting recognized. I did not pray. I did not go to church. I just fought for what I thought was right. Now everything seems to be working out. I am so happy. I am so glad that life will be getting back to normal. With the help of me and my family. Nothing else. Randy knew everything was going to work out. He is going to tell me " I told you so". I have to admit he was right. Don't tell him this but he usually is. I tend to panic prematurely. I always try to prepare for the worse. Maybe that is because I am a planner. I am now going to have to plan to have 6 weeks off. I need to make sure my mortgage is paid. So I need about two months of mortgage saved back. This is how you stop yourself from having problems. You have to plan. Not wait til the worse happens. So I have five months to save 1600 dollars for my family to be secure while I am on maternity leave with the baby. I need to get on that. Randy and I need to talk about how to do that in the next few months. He will also be off work for a week in July we need to prepare for that too. This is how you stop yourself from loosing your house or having financial problems. God is not going to help. You need to help yourself. Stress has melted away!

Christmas

Well it has come and gone. I have to say I had the best time at Randy's mom. The girls got spoiled rotten. I mean they got everything they wanted from Grandma. She made us the best dinner and it was nice to joke around and be Merry. Everyone expressed how excited they are about the boy. The girls got to be their self and play and be noisy. Christina got sick by the end of dinner. We had to go home for the night and not get to see my dad. That really sucked. But overall what a great time! Peace and calm. That was really all I wanted this year.

Yesterday night we ventured out to Upper to see the lights. Oh my goodness beautiful. Not to mention cheap! Due to my work issue we need to watch our pennies. Zoolights for us was out of reach. But to tell you the truth I would rather be all warm in my car listening to Christmas Carols and eating some of my home-made goodies with my favorite girls and hubby.

You do not need to spend a fortune to have a great time. Things are probably going to be tight for a minute but we always land on our feet. My kids will always have their own roof over their heads and utilities and that is what matters. They will never go without. I will make sure of that. If I have to work at McDonald. Never will I let my kids go without or not have a roof of their own. I might have to go on unemployment but I have been paying into that my whole working career being on it for a couple of months will not hurt anything.

Today I am cleaning and trying to get organized. Randy spend the morning sick but he seems better now. He had headed out to the garage to continue on the baby's cradle. Everything will come together. I tell myself that everyday. We just have to continue to work hard and be good people. You reek what you sow.

Baby video

Christmas Eve

Today we used to go to Randy's families and open up presents. We do not do that anymore. We have adopted a new tradition. If the weather stays nice then we are going to go to Upper and see the lights. We are also having our own feast tonight. I am so excited. During Thanksgiving I was not able to eat. I will be able to today. So we are pretty much doing our own thing. Just think this time next year I will have a baby boy and my three girls at the table. Life is so wonderful!

We are having a boy!!!!!!!!!!!

That's our boy!!!!!!!! We are having our first and last boy!!!! I am over the moon!!! We are still in shock siting at home right now just trying to ground ourselves! We have a dvd to prove it is a boy! I seen it within the first couple minutes but I was afraid that it was not what I thought I saw. It was clear as day! Now I can stop having babies!! We are officially done! We got what we wanted and we are done! I cannot wait to start decorating the nursery! So ladies and gentlemen the Shettles method works!! I have the book if you want to borrow it lol!!!

Solstice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today we celebrated Solstice. Last night the girls made cookies for Santa. We decorated them. Then we made Santa Clauses. Then, they opened up their one early present before Santa comes. It was matching pjs with their names on them. They got super excited put them on. They watched The Polar Express then went to bed. They woke up this morning and Santa had came! They loved all their presents.

Christina got, A DS, lite brite, ZuZu Pet set, A science pin thing, four games for her ds, Scary Story book, and stocking stuffers that included a zu zu pet, earrings, candy and necklace

Ava got, My little pony bag, my little pony set, Dora mermaid doll, Dora bingo game, two leapster games, leapster, big my little pony, tea set, and Lite Bright. She got stocking stuffers too, necklace zu zu pet, candy, necklace.

They were super happy. They got to playing right away. What a great day for them.

But the day only gets better, we are going to find out the sex of the baby today!!!! So excited!

Happy Winter!!!!!!!

Discrimination because I am pregnant!!!!!!

I was so mad today because finally the day I have been waiting for has come. I was able to finally go back to work and start helping our family financially. Well a huge bump in my plan happened. I called my boss let her know my return to work release was in her box. She then told me I would not be put back on the schedule because here in a few months I would need leave again. i would be on a "on call" basis. I was so mad. After four years with them I get treated like this. I have to beg four hours. Not sure what I am going to do. I guess try to work things out but if worse comes to worse then I will have to find another job. I cannot be wondering if I have the mortgage money this month. I have to have something steady. I still cannot believe I am being treated this way. After all the time I have in. I do not think this is legal. There has to be a law against it. I was on medical leave for only two months. I feel bad about that but there was nothing I could do about it. I was very sick. I am not even off the pump yet and I want to come back. This whole thing is crazy. I called Amber back and left her a message. I asked her if we could talk about this. If I do not get something by Tuesday next week I am calling the big boss Bob. You cannot treat people like this. You cannot discriminate over someone being pregnant. In a nut shell that is what they are dong. If I was anyone else on medical leave they would give me my job back. It's because i will have to be on medical leave again. Not right!

Find out the baby's gender Thursday!

We could not wait any longer. Not Randy and I but Linda and I. She is paying for my 3d ultrasound to be done! I will know before Christmas what I am having. I hope so bad it is a boy. Sorry but it is true. It is the one thing that will make my family complete. I will be less likely to get pregnant again. If it is not a boy then I can see me doing it again. I wonder if I will be able to sleep until then? I am so incredibly excited!! I know I should wait til the baby is bigger. Why? I want to know now! Plus I can show my dvd at Christmas. Everyone will get to see what I am having. Please Please let it be a boy. Please! For my health sake!

Cookies Candy, and fudge!!!!!!!!!

I can make some goodies! Every year I go nuts cooking. This year is no exception. I have sent my hubby out to buy all my cookie and candy supplies. The girls and I are going to do a couple kinds of cookies this week. I am going to make cookies and cream fudge, buckeyes, potato candy, double chocolate fudge and regular fudge. Yummy! I am going to bake and bake til I have enough to take over for Christmas day. I think having a nice tray of goodies will do everyone some good lol. I love making things for people. Especially when I am in my opinion a damn good cook. I always had trouble making things at other people's house. Mainly because I am a messy cook. Randy's family seems so organized and clean. My stuff is usually everywhere and I have to dig to find everything. But that is what a creative mind is like scattered. I am who I am and I love me. Some people might find me strange but really if you really know me then you will find me very normal. Everyone likes to have space and time. Either one is available when you cook with Randy's family. That is why I like to only cook at my house

. My sister might come over to cook with me and I am looking forward to that. She is just a joy to have around. I love my little sister like I love my children in so many ways. I worry about her like I worry about my children. It is hard not to since I was put in the mother role so many years ago. I know she is not my child but someone has to care about her how a mother should. We all know my mother does not have that in her. I hope at some point she sees things for what they are and gets out of the hell hole. I want her and my kids to be super close. I want to be Raelynns favorite Aunt. I am so excited to be an aunt again. I hope the baby has Kisten's looks though lol. We all know Cory is no looker!

My kids are hilarous!

Kids say the darnest things. Last night the girls took their shower then I told them before they went to bed they could hear their new brother or sister on my doppler. I got it out. I let each one of them try to find it on their own. When they could not find it then I found it. Both girls tried to talk into the speaker at the baby. I was laughing so hard. Ava thinks that she is having a baby too in two weeks! I let her try to find the baby on the doppler too. I am so glad my girls are getting excited. This is good. I was worried that there would be jealousy. But I think everything is going to be okay.

Randy is going out today to get the wood for my cradle. He is very excited about getting started. I cannot wait to see how well he does. He has always been handy with his hands. I am sure it is going to be beautiful. Just like everything else he has made. I love hubby very much so glad we are together and have a great family. I am so glad that we have a marriage where we can talk about anything. I see us old and gray together. Randy and I. Life is wonderful.

What has happened to Pride?

What happened to wanting to do things yourself and not accepting charity if you did not have to? What has happened to working hard and getting what you worked for? It seems like people in this town have gotten so far from that. I have such a hard time making friends with people around here because there is so much abuse of the welfare system. People are getting things and they have to be lieing about their income or situation.

I remember being on assistance. I was living off of 400.00 a month in cash and 300.00 in food stamps. I hated every minute of it. But I was going to high school, married and living in my own apartment. As soon as I graduated I started working at Tri-Rivers. I could not wait to start making money and doing my part to support myself. My husband at the time was doing close to nothing. He was in the national guard but got paid 70.00. a month. Which was not cutting it. He joined the active duty because I was so sick of being the only income. Even though we were trying to get ourselves out of our situation Welfare cut us off. Even after he was no longer active duty. I was going to school full time and had a part-time job. They wanted me to work for the cash I was eligible for. I asked them when would I have the time to do it? I was barely home . now. Jeff then went permanent active duty. We had no choice. The money and the help was running out. We made some tough decisions that ultimatley helped with the destruction of our marriage (among other things).

Anyway back to my complaining. I feel that people should be forced to try harder to be independent. I think both parents should be forced to work in order to receive assistance. I think there should be a level of trying to get off of it. Especially when there is someone in the home not trying and not working when they can. There is daycare assistance too. Then when you are on your feet you should be off of it. I think if there was an amount of time you could be on assistance people would try harder to stay off. I am not talking about people with disabilities here or the elderly. I am talking about people that are young and are perfectly capable of working. People that choose to be on assistance because they refuse to do their part for their family. This causes the harder working people to pay for them. Yes I am paying for you if you are on assistance. A percentage of my income is deducted for your lazy ass to remain on welfare. If you are not trying you should feel ashamed! It is not my job to provide for your family. It is yours!

What amazes me it people that have health care but yet use medicaid. If you have health care available to you then you should not be receiving medicaid. Not even for a secondary insurance. Randy and I struggle but yet we have to do it on our own. Plus we have pride. We want to do it ourselves!!!!!!! We do not want help. If it needs done then maybe I need to pick up some more hours or he does. No one seems to feel that way anymore. It is all about getting things for free or having someone else pay for it. It is wrong! Medicaid is there for the poor not for someone who is making 35,000 a year and has health insurance at their job! Bullshit! It's not there for you!

I am so glad Randy and I have pride. We do not accept charity. We do not borrow money. We make it on our own. Our parents do not bail us out. The government does not bail us out. We are responsible for our family. Not the government. More people need this attitude.

Tina's Christmas program!

My goodness!! Tina was so awesome last night! She did so well singing and I got so many great pictures. I almost cried from beginning to end. Then when she sung a whole song in sign language the tears would not stop. I am such a baby. Avanelle loved seeing her sister perform she danced and swayed the whole time. My girls are natural performer lol. What a great night! She even had a singing part! I loved hearing her. She has a beautiful voice!

I cannot wait til all three of my kids are in school and I am going to three performances! Going to be a blast! Running around seeing and taking pictures.Me crying at every performance. I love having family and my kids are the best! Hands down!

The Grinch Alert , My take on it.

What is more Christian then hurting businesses and trying to dominate the holiday season. I mean Christians are the only ones that have holidays this time of year. Nobody else matters. Besides everyone in this nation is Christian and thinks exactly the same as them. Wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There are other holidays this time of year. Ever heard of Kwanzaa or Hanukkah? Or even New Years? Yes there are other holidays! Imagine that not everyone is Christian for a minute. Wait it's true not everyone is Christian!

Now I get to my actual point. I had to be a little sarcastic no fun if I was not. There is this Grinch Alert List where Christians can go to this website and add businesses that do not say Merry Christmas or have Christian decorations. This is to alert people to not shop there because they are taking Christ out of Christmas. How is this helpful? What does this accomplish? I will tell you what it does. It divides people. It hurts businesses and for what? Because someone did not say Merry Christmas! How childish does that sound? Have we heard of the word Tolerance?

My main problem with this whole site and whole thing is that this group of Christians are being egocentric. They think since they believe a certain way then everyone does. Then if for some reason someone does not do what they want then they can throw a two year old tantrum. Which is now the Grinch Alert site. What does this solve? I think stores will do what they want and the cashiers will still do what they think is right or what is in the store's policy.

What is the big picture? Well this site will cause people to boycott the businesses. Especially the ones that follow this Christian belief. It will divide people. People will argue over this and there will be division among friends, family and co- workers. I thought Christians united people, gave to the poor and brought communities together? Well this year they have forgotten those ideas. This year this group of Christians want to be childish and petty over a phrase! Seriously grow up Dallas Baptist Church and everybody else who wants to ruin the Holiday "spirit" or feeling! Let's stop this nonsense and get back to celebrating this great holiday season with our families.

When I hear "Happy Holidays", I hear, I all the holidays of the season united in one phrase. I hear someone respecting that I might not exactly celebrate Christmas. I might be Jewish or some other religion. I feel at peace. No fighting or someone getting angry. I feel tolerance that this is not a complete Christian country. I love it and I love hearing it. No idea how this could be anti-Christian. Oh then again everything is suppose to be about them all the time! Sorry I fogot. They are a bit egocentric.

Let's get rid of this Grinch Alert! Let's be thankful people are nice enough to wish our family well. Semantics have no place! Let's be united!! We are in fact the United States? Regardless or religion or what holiday we celebrate. Or whether we wish someone a Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays.


So Happy Holidays to my family to yours! We hope you have joy in your heart and ignore all this craziness and enjoy your family!

Winter is here!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My kids got new boots and new snow pants today. I am hoping that soon we can take them sledding. We are looking at Christmas break. It was so cold today, only in the teens. They could only stand five minutes and they wanted back in. I do not blame them I am not a big winter fan.

I do however love to see them play in the snow and be kids. My goal has always been to let them be kids while they can. I am not afraid of them getting cold and getting sick. We all know that is a myth anyway. Kids can get cold and not get a cold. My kids hardly ever get sick and I think it is because I let them be around germs. They have a strong defense system.

Next year I will have to only let Randy or have someone watch the baby so we can go winter hiking. I am not well enough this year for it but next year I hope to take the girls. They really loved it and I get such great pictures. I love pictures lol.

Winter pictures

Click here to view these pictures larger

Avanelle's Birthday!!!! She is three!!!

Avanelle had her birthday Saturday. It was small because I am still not 100%. I get tired easy and still getting sick when I over do it. She got a doctor kit from grandmas and from Aunt Amy. Randy made her some Dora cupcakes. She loved them! I wish I would have been more organized and planned better but I have been sick and the last two months have sucked!

Looking over the last three years, Avanelle has become an incredible child. She knows all the letters of her name. She can count to 20 and put numbers in order 1-10. She can count in Spanish and Chinese. She knows so much for being three. She is my little helper and my little screamer. She keeps me on my toes and she is the sweetest little girl. She is going to preschool next year and I am so happy. She is growing up. Next year she is going to be a big sister. She is so excited. She too think she has a baby in her belly. I cannot wait to see her reaction to a new baby. I have been a mother to this amazing child for three years. I am so grateful and glad I have her.

Getting Ready for the Holidays

So I am trying to update things> I have been very ill with my pregnancy and this is my first post since Thanksgiving. Which went very well by the way. Besides me getting sick and being that way til now. After Thanksgiving we started putting up the tree, shopping and getting everything ready. All my shopping was pretty much done before Thanksgiving. We took pictures and started our card. I love making the yearly photo card with all of our pictures in front of our tree. So that is what is going on.

Fun with my family.

We have been doing all kinds of fall activities. We would do more if I had the energy. We went to the park yesterday and played in the leaves. So much fun. Christina has a great birthday party. Alot of her class came. She got alot of presents and just had a great time. I am hoping soon we can head out hiking. Hopefully me not getting sick keeps up. I feel great today!!!!

Christina's Skating party

Christina had so much fun at her skating party. I was very pleased with how many people showed up. She got showered with gifts. She got an ipod and a digital camera. Lucky girl. I cannot believe she is now nine! She is doing so well in school and is making friends left and right. I am so proud of her!!!!!

Christina has been a joy to have as a child for nine years. I have to say she is so much like me. She tries so hard to be nice to everyone. She tries so hard to see the good in people. Even when sometimes there is no good to be seen. She is growing up and I am doing an fantastic job! She is always said to be a "joy to have at school and a friend everyone wants to have". Happy Birthday Christina.

Leeds Farm

What a wonderful time! My family and I went to Leeds farm. We enjoy going there every year. This year the trip was almost canceled.Randy had to work on the day we were going to go. Really sucked. Then we decided to go on Sunday. Of course it was freezing cold! We had a fun time though. Randy did the zip line and the girls enjoyed all the other activities. We picked out great pumpkins this year. What a great day! Very cold but a great day. The girls loved feeding the goats, playing in the hay and corn, and just being crazy girls. What a fun family activity

2 Dpo

I feel nothing. I am still experiencing cm.So I guess we could just bd in case my ovulation date is wrong. Randy is convinced it is right and that I am just over thinking things. I really just want to not worry about it. So I am getting deep into my two weeks. I test on October 6th very excited about that date. By then I would of had my period or not. If not then I will test. I am not going to be a test addict this cycle. It really does not help things. No symptoms this early. I am not going to drive myself crazy. I am just going to focus on life and not ttc. I am putting myself in the mind set that it will happen or it won't not the end of the world.

3 years today!!!!

Well I want to start with yesterday. I woke up and I had a ton of cm. So I tried to get hubby home early. It almost did not work due to trains. I think we got the job done though. I just hope we can try again tonight. This might be our cycle? I have no idea but baby dust to me!

Today is my three year anniversary. I went out and bought a cake and a new bed set. If we are going to make a baby we need to do it with a nicer set. I think we may stay home and enjoy our kids and later each other. What a great three years! Very happy with it. I hope for many more with the man that lights up my life. What do I want for my anniversary? A late present a baby!!!!!!

CD 10

Today I start looking for ovulation. Yesterday I had some cervical fluid. But I do not feel my temp has dropped or that I actually ovulated. I do however think it is coming. I have been pretty relaxed this cycle I am willing to let it happen and not worry so much. It does not help that my gastritis is acting up. So I have pain my my stomach. I guess I just got to pay attention. We will get it this time. Here me go. Ovulation test at 2 pm and 10pm. We can do this!

We are a packaged deal

My husband and I have had alot of conflicts with family over the past couple years. Both sides have expressed dislike of us being together. Or they have not accepted the fact that we are married. What do I say to that? Get over it. We are not going anywhere. We are in this til death do us part. If you do not like me or my husband then I do not want to be around you. We only want positive people in our lives. Yes this was a group decision not one that I only made. So tired of getting blamed for my husband's actions. People think I am control him or something. He is a big boy. He and I are able to talk about things and agree upon them.

As for family gatherings, right now they are not for us and our family. I do not feel comfortable and I do not feel very wanted. I do not want to be around people that may turn on me any second and bring up my past. I have made a ton of mistakes. Randy knows about them all and loves me despite of them. He knows how hard it has been on me to not have a relationship with my mother or father. He knows how that hurts me and he will not tolerate anyone throwing that in my face. Would you go to a place where you know you are not wanted? No you would not. I should not be expected too either. Since I cannot go then my family will not go either. We are a package deal. If one of us are not welcome then none of us will go.

What could make this situation better? Treating me with respect. Not making fun of my parenting. Not being rude to me. Letting me raise my own kids without interference. I guess treating me like I am family. Because I am not going anywhere. Time for people to get use to it.

Cassie's weeding, my date, and CD 6!

I was so happy yesterday. I still am. My sister Cassie and I went shopping for her wedding dress and brides maid dresses. So much fun! I am so glad we are finally becoming close!

Tonight is my hot date! Randy and I are going out. I might get a new sexy outfit to surprise him with. My sister is sitting with the kids. When I get home I am going to take them home then Randy and I are going to finish our evening. I am so excited!!

CD 6 Period done now waiting to ovulate! I got to start making sure I am temping the same time everyday!

Beginning of a new cycle.

Yesterday Af came. I was ok with it. I was way beyond ready to start again. Last cycle was just a mess. I am hoping this one will be better. I am really not even sure if I ovulated. I never seen a positive test like I did other cycles and my period came very late. So no May baby. I am hoping for a June baby! I am so excited about moving on. So today is CD2 and I am in pain and bleeding very heavy. It will not be long and we will be trying yet again.

What I want to do different this cycle,
1. pin point ovulation better
2. No douche just preseed and soda
3. Try instead cups.
4. Do not become a poas addict
5. No testing til 14 dpo
6. Stay busy no stress!
7. have an organism all the way!
8. Make love not have sex
9. Be the best mom I can be this month
10. Just let is happen. No stress this is suppose to be fun.

So I am ready. We are going to catch that egg this month! So now we are waiting to ovulate.

Frustration when you know something but cannot get it confirmed!

I am know I am pregnant at this point. There is no mistaken it. I have officially missed my period. I am feeling sick when I do not eat right away. I am tired all the time. My legs ache. Why won't a test show what I know? Who knows. Hopefully tomorrow I take one and it does. Ugh!!!! I just want to tell the world but can't til my test comes up. My fingers are crossed for tomorrow. I know I am without a doubt. I think I am sure it is not in my head. I cannot wait to confirm out baby #3.

11 dpo! Still no period!

So I am still feeling very optimistic. Also confused. I was so tired yesterday that my legs were killing me. I pass out on the couch. Randy let me sleep for two hours. I felt bead because we were suppose to spend some time together on the front porch. Once again I was out for the count! I got up and we went to bed. I slept like a baby. I woke up early worried my period might have started. Sure enough no.Still has not started. I know I have been taking vitamin bb and it can make your lutual phase longer. That would not explain feeling sluggish all the time! I am still very optimistic at this point regardless of the negative tests. Still might be too early. I am keeping my fingers crossed that this is ti!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DPO 10 Negative!!!!!!!!!!

I was all hoping that I would test this morning and find out I am indeed pregnant. Especially after all the tiredness I felt yesterday. I barely could finish grocery shopping. Today is when I was expecting my period. No period. Cramps but no period. I am still so tired. I have to run out in a bit to go get some cheap pregnancy tests. I want to keep testing until I get my period or til I get a positive. Something tells me I am. But my mind keeps trying to tell me I am not. I keep second guessing myself. Thinking these symptoms are not real. I cried yesterday for no real reason. Today I am slightly better but still a little moody. I just want this so bad. But I am okay with starting the next cycle. At this point I want something to happen! I want to get a positive test or start over. So I am on day 24 and nothing. Well I am off to cook dinner. I will keep updating this.

%Dpo

5 dpo
Could be all in my head. And if it is well I will be super disappointed! I will live though and it just means next cycle will be the cycle.
1dpo- cramps breast tenderness
2 dpo- cramps breast tenderness
3 dpo- cramps breast tenderness fatigue
4 dpo breast tenderness, gassy and fatigue

Those are my symptoms so far. I am looking for symptoms though and if you are looking for something you are bound to find it. I also have acid reflex pretty bad so some of my cramps could be that. As for being tired progesterone is being released after I have ovulated and that too can make you sluggish. So with every symptom there is a possible explanation. So I am not getting my hopes up. It takes the average couple a year to conceive. But since I know my body should make our average about half of that. I cannot shake this feeling that I am though. I feel like I did with Ava. Strange.

I am super excited about next Saturday. This will be the day I test. I hope I have good news to share. Randy's mother has been bugging me since I had Avanelle to have her another grand child. I am glad we waited til the right time. Still do not feel 100% ready. But I do not think anyone is 100% ready for being sick.

Wish me luck. I am going to need it.

2 dpo

Are all these symptoms in my head? Probably. I do however feel very moody. I also feel strange I do not know how to describe it. I have googled too much information that says there is no way to tell to at least 6dpo. So I am just going to chill out and spend the day with my daughter and try not to think about it. I know it is completely normal to feel this way even if I am not pregnant. Wish me luck. 8 more days til I can test!!!!

Day one after ovulation

Today ovulation was confirmed. I feel very tired today but I think it's because I did not sleep well. I am hoping with all my heart that Labor day gives me great news. Randy and I should have conceived. So now the waiting game begins. But for now until my period comes I am going to assume I am pregnant. I am going to eat right exercise and take good care of myself. Just in case there is a little bean in there. I am pretty sure there is. I am so happy. Still feeling moody though and crampy from yesterday. I hope that will pass.

Symptoms: tiredness (did not sleep well though), ovulation like pains that come and go,and breast tenderness. I am pretty sure this was the cycle. Everything was timed perfect. Now just to wait it out.

Started confused but BD anyway!!

Wow today I started out very confused. I knew today was my peak day though so I had to get the job done. With or without a positive opk. We got Ava all tired out and we baby danced. I hope it works. I am so anxious to test in two weeks!!! I hope we get our boy! If not like I said I will be glad to have a baby with Randy again no matter what it is. So excited!!!

On another note Randy starts college up again. Taking one class again. Better than nothing. He just wants to make sure I am ok before taking on too much. I will be. I am scared I have exactly four weeks if I am pregnant for HG to show up. I am fine though I have all these people wanting to help me. I am so happy for that. I know who loves me in my life and it is the people still standing loving me for me. Well I am off to work!

CD 13 and no lh surge yet

I have a feeling this is going to be a long cycle. First off no lh surge and it is day 13. I have some cervical fluid but not as much as I would hope for for cd 13. Well oh well I still have time. Just means I will test after labor day and not on labor day. Funny thing Randy is convinced I will be pregnant before Tina's party. So I am going to test three times today and hope I get a nice positive by the end of the day. Wish me luck!

CD 12 drop temp drop!

NO today is not the day. Tomorrow hopefully is. I hope I get a positive opk tonight! I want to ovulate!! That hubby is looking way too good!! I cannot wait to be pregnant!! I want to have a baby! I want to be pregnant and feel the little kicks. I love having children!

CD 11 Emotional and hopeing about ready to O

Day 11 I found very little cm. But I was very emotional and I feel very sexy if you know what I mean. I hope tomorrow is the big day. I just want to get it over with so that I can finally have sex and maybe be pregnant. Randy and I have been holding off in hopes that it will help us conceive our boy. I want a boy more than anything in the world. I really hope we can sway so we get our wish. All negative opks today. Oh well hoping tomorrow is the day.

I went hiking with my family today. Here is the picture. Hopefully this time next year there is a little boy in the picture. Wish me luck!!!! I will update this as soon as my sway has taken place.

For now on ............

For now on no debates for me. Even when I feel passionate about it. People are ignorant and most of the time do not know things. So when I think I am going to debate someone I am going to consider the source. For instance spanking debate. Seriously no one has a leg to stand on when debating me. I have taken more parenting classes and child development classes then most people my age. I know what I am talking about and I am not going to debate someone when I know I am right. I have no need to defend myself. None!!! I am a great mother and the proof is in the pudding. You just have to look at my girls and see. Seriously why would I need to defend myself to a women that does not have it all together. Who has a dysfunctional relationship with her boyfriend? I am not going to defend myself to her. I know what I am doing is right. I know what spanking does to a child. I have done my research. I do not rely on the fact I turned out okay because I know that is not completely true. I have no problem saying that I have problems relating and I am a little antisocial. Yeah I know this. I do not think I am perfect but I am as close to perfect as you can get in the parenting area. I strive to be that everyday. I am done.

CD 9

I am feeling increasingly wet and sticky. My cervix feels softer today. I am still drinking 2-3 glasses of green tea a day. I actually woke up feeling good today. My veggie and fruit diet must be helping. I am eating a banana every day. Also potatoes and tomatoes. All high in potassium. I am waiting on my preseed to get here I hope it is here by Monday. Tomorrow i start testing for my lh surge. I am so excited and cannot wait til I am 2ww. I am very confident we will get our boy. I have the baby outfit under my pillow. We are ready!

Day 6

Well my period lasted all day yesterday. I am hoping this means delayed ovulation. I hope my luck is turning around. Let's hope it happens next Tuesday or Friday. I guess I am stressing way too much! I am trying not to but it is hard. Nothing seems to be going right. So it is day six and I have 6 to seven days before the big O assuming it occurs on time. I am still taking my vitamins and eating banana and cereal about every day. I am trying to stay away from acid foods. I am taking my acid reflex medication. So all in all I am doing what I need to do.

CD 5 done with the period TMI post

I have been reading alot lately. The more I read the more I think I have my work cut out for me. I have a very acidic environment, I have a tilted uterus, and I have to work on the day I might ovulate. Ugh!!! I am just feeling discouraged. But I have to stop. I have to get it in my head that all I can do it try. If we do not get a boy I will be just as happy with a girl. Who says it will work the first time? Might not so if things do now work out we can try again. We really can. We just have to take a step back and do what we can. I am so glad my period is about done. I hope to be done bleeding today. Then maybe stop wearing these itchy pads. I have the directions now time to calm down and put them in action next week around this time.

Today I tried the baking soda douche. I have to say I think it is easy to do and may help. I was already feeling acidic after my period. I think doing that has helped me. I hope I am able to do it before having sex on the day we conceive. I had to try it though to feel comfortable. Well off to start my day.

CD 2 My TTC Journey

Up early because I am cramping still. My legs are sore. I am so tired but cannot sleep. I am ready to stop having period and hopeful that this first month is the month. I know the more we try the more pain I will be in when my next period comes. I wish so badly I could sleep. I am going to give in and drink a little coffee. I am just too tired not to have a little. Well those are all my symtoms I am ready for the rest of my cycle to begin.

My ttc journey CD1

So it is cycle day one! I am having cramps.. My legs are killing me and I am not feeling well. I could sleep forever! The kids are up though and I have to make them breakfast. What is breakfast for me? Cereal ,banana, and a vitamins. Today I start my actual prenatal. I have been taking kids vitamins. I also had two cups of green tea. I miss coffees so much. I know I have to stop if I want a baby though. I am going to make a french silk pie today. High in calories. I heard that having a high calorie diet can help you conceive a boy. But no matter what happens I will love the baby. It would just be nice to finally have a boy. I have two little girls. I love them very much but I feel a hole in my heart for another baby.

So here is the plan. I will be on my period for five days. After that I will start testing on day 10. When I get a positive and I have the egg whites cm. Randy and I will baby dance til there is a negative. Then around September 12th I will test and see if I am pregnant. Wish me luck! I hope he can get the day off to just BD and we can find a babysitter!







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Happy!!!!

I am so happy. After visiting the doctor last week , I feel ready. Today is day 21 of my current cycle. Only three days til Af. Funny thing is I think I may ovulate on the day Randy and I met. Avanelle was concieved on the day we got engaged. Would be really cool to have both of our children ( that we had together) on special days like that. Christina is special too do not get me wrong. I have no idea when she was conceived though. It could have been any day.


I can so see myself with three kids. I can see us all playing and camping in the summers. I can see me taking them to school. Making things with them. I just cannot wait. So next Thursday my new cycle begins. If we conceive that cycle we are looking at a May baby. I am so excited.

My weekend......

Saturday we spend the day working and we went to home depot in Mansfield. We got sided tracked and went school clothes shopping. I could not believe how much nice stuff Burlington Coat factory has. Man I loved their cribs. They were all set up and did not have the drop down sides. I could easily reach in them. Though I am not short so I guess my opinion is not the best. We had fun planning and looking at baby stuff. I ended up buying a bunch of clothes for the girls for winter. I need to head back there next time Randy gets paid. Then we went home. What a day!!!!

Sunday we got up early and headed out to Cosi. Bought tickets to watch the 3d dolphins and whales. We also seen the titanic exhibit. So much fun.

Then we came home and had dinner with my sis. We talked about cribs and how to save money. What you need and what you do not need. That was very fun.

My husband the wood working man

My husband is making our next child's crib set. Including the changing table. I am so excited!! I know he is going to do the best job. I found this crib on ebay and I just love it!! I love the arch and how pretty it is. I think it will be perfect! The changing table is not exactly the color I am going to do it but I love the design and I think it will work well. I love the side drawers. I will probably put wipes in them. I am very excited about planning this baby. So much fun to plan ahead. I think I might plan ahead for now on. If it is a boy I plan on using the rocket bedding. I love it so much!!! I like the green if it is a girl. Just because I am tired of traditional pastel colors. I want something bold and cute!! I think it is so funny how I am more ready then most people getting ready to pop!!! Lol!!!!!! Well I thought I would share because I love planning and finding what I want.

Summer coming to an end!! Update on everything!!! Been awhile!

Wow what a summer. Well shortly after Tina won first place Randy's car started having trouble. We freaked!!!We were left with only choice. This choice ended up being a "Blessing" in disguise. We decided to take a loan out. We could then pay off all our cars, get the car fixed, put in new flooring, and get some things done. I am sure Suzie Ormen would disagree but we had no choice. So we did that. We have been very busy doing home improvements. Then Randy cut his index finger on the table saw while cutting flooring. He had to have surgery. Damn him!! So now I am waiting on him to recover so things can start moving again.

Right now we are focusing on small projects that he can do. Staining the front porch, cleaning the garage. installing a new opener. So that is what we are doing on Saturday. Then Sunday we are going back to Cosi. We recently bought a membership.

Oh and Tina lost the tournament games unfortunately. They had an off day. Oh well. She plans on playing in the fall so all is good. I am very excited for her.

Well while we had some hard times with one car. We were able to catch everything up with the loan money. Put some money back and now we are planning a baby!!! Yes everything fell into place sooner than we though. We have this cycle then we start trying. I cannot believe how things just fell!!

Ava also had her first haircut!! Can you believe I finally had it done? I must be crazy! Anyway I almost cried but I am over it now.

Tina and I also got new glasses!! Yippee!!!

Best of all my husband is making all our baby's furniture!!! He is making the crib and the dresser! I am so excited! I am working on finding what I want! I am so happy. I have a whole baby list of things on Amazon. I so hope I can work that would help out so much!! Well I will start blogging here again if I can. I get busy and sometimes do not have time. I am very happy though and ready for my future!

Tina won first place!!

What a great season of softball. Tina won first place in the county. She received a medal and is excited about playing again next year. She is getting really good a batting. I am so proud of her. Things are really going well for her. She even wants to play fall ball. We have tournaments all this week I have a great feeling that they are going to win those too.I am just so proud of her. I wish I would have stuck with softball. Glad she is.

Circumcision the myth!

When I have a baby boy I am not circumcising him. I refuse. I think it is unnecessary and painful. Here is why I have decided this.

1. There is not one medical organization that supports it.
2. It is not healthier.
3. Circumcision can actually affect bonding, breastfeeding and even sleep.
4. You are born with it there for a reason!! It protects the glands from infection!! The same infections that people are circumcising to prevent!
5. The foreskin is there naturally and has a self-cleaning “mechanism”, much like a female’s vagina does. You should not retract the skin (especially infants and children) until it is easily retractable. All children need is a good warm bath to keep it clean
6. Circumcision actually reduces sexual function!
7. Has risks!!

• meatal stenosis
• infection (often resulting from contact between the raw wound and urine and feces)
• very tight circumcisions in which a lot of tissue is removed, leading to painful erections later in life
• phimosis
• hemorrhage
  
• degloved penis
• numbness from scarring
• erectile curvature

8. There are no medical benefits!!!! None what so ever!!!
9. Decreased risk of STDs!! False!! I repeat false!!!!
10.Decreased risk of penile cancer! False again. Misinformation simply not true!
11. I refuse to mutilate my son without his permission. I feel it is a violation of his rights. If he wants it done he can do it at a later date. My husband wishes it was never done to him. He chafes down there and has to use baby powder.
12. Imagine having your private place raw and against a rough diaper. Who could do that to their child these days? Especially with all the education and medical information out there?
13. Would you do that to your girls? They have a foreskin too!
14. Infant circumcision interrupts natural penile development
15. There is no pain medication given during the process because there is none that is safe.
16. Cost. I am not paying for something that has no benefit to my child. Medical is expensive enough.
17. I have seen it done on Penn and Teller and I have to say that made me cry. There is no way I can do this to my child for cosmetic reasons. And that is all it would be considering I am not religious and I do not believe in god.
18. The baby can go into shock because of the pain. I am not willing to take that risk either
19. Not my decision to make.
20. Lastly, and I am going to say this again it is unnecessary!! There is no medical reason for it!!! There is not one medical organization that supports it

First Day of Summer Vacation

Of course I could not sleep in. I am so used to getting up early and taking Tina to school. Now sure what to do with myself in the mornings anymore. I tried to stay in bed this morning but still was up before 7:30. Probably by the time I get used to it, it will be too late.

Yesterday we went swimming and played outside. The girls had a ball. Before we knew it Daddy was home and it was time for lunch. Time really flew!!! We ate dinner and Daddy went to school. Ah the life of a busy working family. Anyway Randy came home before we knew it again and we went for a nice family walk. We came home and put the girls to bed. I tried to stay up but I have been working so hard on loosing weight that I am tired by the end of the day. But good news I lost a half of a pound lol!! Not much but something. Enough to encourage me again. I was starting to get discouraged. So today i am going to try shimmy and swim. I am just going to stay active and do what I can to boost this weight loss!!

Memorial Day and baby plans revisited!

Memorial day weekend was wonderful. I enjoyed that extra time with Randy. We spent Saturday shopping and swimming with the girls. Sunday we went to the Asian festival where we met Randy's sister. Monday we had a cookout with the family. Randy's dad got in the pool with the girls. I did not want it to end. But all good things must. Randy and I had wine and fire most of the weekend. We even got into the pool at night together. So romantic and fun.

Well I think I want a July baby so the baby making process is moved up to October which is four months away! We cannot wait. Hopefully I will finally have my Corbin Lee. I will be updating with a count down when I can.

School is almost out!! Plan for the summer

Tina is out of school next week!! Whoo Hoo!! I cannot wait. I love spending time with my big girl! I hope we can have a girls night soon. I feel like I do not spend enough alone time with her. I am going to plan something with her this weekend I think. Probably try to go to Cosi and hike alot. Also of course we are going to go to the beach. My favorite place in the world. So much to do this summer I cannot wait. Tina will be home and we all can do it together!