Busy Week again

Its been a busy week. I have a staff meeting and a doctors appointment within the same hour, and tomorrow I have court. I am still trying to find the right outfit for it. Its been pretty stressful. The wedding planning is getting nowhere. I dont think Randy is all that interested in helping plan. I need him too though. Lately I have felt very fat and unattractive. I am almost in my third trimester and I am really starting to get uncomfortable. My legs hurt everyday. I have been walking Tina back and forth from school each day this week and I am really pulling on the ligaments that hold my uterus. That can be really painful. I will be fine though, I plan on working up to the end. I am not a lazy person that uses my pregnancy as an excuse to not work. I really cant wait to have this baby and get my life on track. Hopefully go back to work full time.

First Day of school

Christina did a great job at school. I was so proud of her. She had a green day, which means she was well behaved. I think everything is going to be ok and I will get used to her going.

Foxy is a wonderful dog. She had a few accidents but nothing major. She is the most lovable dog I know. She loves Christina. she plays with her and she is not too rough or anything. She likes Randys side of the bed. She refuses to move too lol. I think she is defintly part of the family!

planning a wedding, new dog, Tina going to school

Well we started planning the wedding this week. I still havent found anyone to do it. I am going to have to get on the phone today and get someone lined up. If not then we will probably elope and have a fake cermony. Either way it has to get done. I will be loosing my insurance soon and the baby has to have it. Thats not the reason why I am getting married though, I love Randy and we practially are already anyway. I found an arch, I probably should order it today. Ok I ordered it online since we cant seemed to find an arch in stores. I figured I would decorate it in purple and blue flowers and lights maybe.

We called about our new dog yesterday, she is having surgery today to be fixed. I am so happy that our dog will be fixed, I remember all the messes my mom had to clean up when star had an unwanted litter. We have fairly new carpet and we really dont need the mess. We will officially adopt her on Friday. I will be at work so the work is all up to Randy. I know he will do a great job.

Tina is going to school tomorrow. I am so excited for her. She is going to do really well in school because I have gave her the tools. So I guess we have a big day on Friday. Well I am going to run for now I will keep everyone posted.

New member of the family

Randy got off early yesterday. We decided to look for a dog. We decided we wanted an older dog not a puppy. We have newer carpet and the last thing we need is a mess all over the floor around a new baby. Its really not healthy. So we went to the Marion Humane Society because we wanted to rescue a dog. There are just too many dogs that need homes. I found out the sad truth about the Marion Humane Society, they dont seem to care about their animals at all. Its actually sad.They have an outside/ inside cage. The fat women that works there doesnt seem to want to help them find homes at all. I was almost in tears by the time I left there. Well then Randy mentioned the site we look at the night before the one in Hilllard. So we decided to go there. Much better environment for the poor animals. they are in cages but you are allowed to take most of them for walks or take them into a room and get to know them. The people there were awesome. They really helped us. Two dogs caught our eyes, they both were german shepard mixes. Jack and Foxy. We took foxy for a walk first and she seemed perfect. She needs a little training but other than that she was perfect. Jack was just a little too much dog for us. He liked to lead you. Christina was so excited she really wanted Foxy. So Randy and I talked it over last night and today we are going to get her. She is a year old so still has a little puppy in her so until I get to know her better we are not giving her full range of the house. I will put two pictures up of her so you can see how adorable she is.

Divorce and wedding

I will be offically a free women August 31st. Finally my divorce will be final. I will finally get to put my bad decisions behind me. 18 is too young to get married. I seen Jeff sign the papers so there should be no surprises. I just need the judge to sign it at the hearing and we are set.

Now for the rest of my life. Randy and I will be married September 8th or 9th depending on who we get to marry us. We are having a small ceremony and dinner at our new house. We are only inviting close friends and family. Lilac and light blue are our colors. So after September 10th I will be Chasity Channell. I was excited so I had to let everyone know.

Open house was last night, I was pretty upset and proud all at the same time. Christina got the teacher that I know, Janet Kruder. That made me feel alot better because I know she will be taught right. Christina was beyond excited, she cant wait to go back on Friday. I am ready to let her go I think, well I was til the principal started talking about college. I am barely ready for her to go to Kindergarten along college. Her first offical day of school is the 28th she will attend all day. I am so proud of her, she has came along way from when she was inside of me. I know I did a really good job with her. I just have to figure out what I did so I can apply it to Ava. I read to her thats what I did to make her so smart. Randy reads to her. I read to her in the hospital when she was first born. The first book I read to her was the Little Engine that Could. She loved it.I know that my daughter will make me proud and do very well in school.

Letting go

Letting go is one of the hardest things for a mother to do. I remember when I had to go back to school after I had Tina. I cried everyday on the way to the bus stop. I never wanted to leave her but I had to finesh school. I also recall when she was a year when she did not want me to leave her at daycare while I went to school. She would grab my leg and beg me not to leave, my heart broke in a million pieces that day. Its breaking now. She now can ride a bike without training wheels, go to kindergarten, and many other big girl tasks. They spend their whole life trying to get away from you, and to be on their own. Really its the whole point. I know she will always need in in one way or another, but I am still not liking the whole growing up thing. I mean in October she will be 6. Its been six years since that beautiful little girl was inside of me. Sometimes I wish I could have kept her in. She is growing up way too fast. Well this week is the big day, she is going to school. I am so proud of her but at the same time I wish she was still little. Yeah, letting go is hard, but its a healthy natural part of life. Children dont need you to smother them, its actually not good for them. I know I did a good job with Christina and she will be a success in Kindergarten. I will still cry along the way though.

Everything Randy. Wedding New house

Divorce

Yesterday I heard from my lawyer, all the paperwork is ready to sign. So I am going today to sign it. Jeff is going to be here Friday and he is going to sign his too. So we are almost done. Now we are waiting for a hearing. I am so Happy. I am ready for my new life.

Wedding

As you know soon after the divorce there is going to be a wedding. Its going to be at our new house and only close friends and immediate family is invited. Its going to be really simple. Well I will keep you posted on that part.

New house

I love our new house. Its so quiet and peaceful in this neighborhood compared to where we were living. My daughter has more room to ride her bike, and theres a window seat so I can watch her from inside. A few of our rooms need re-painted but I think that part will be fun. Ava's room is right off of ours. I think its important for babies to learn early to sleep in their own bed. Our front porch is a wonderful place for the family to sit, I cant wait for Ava to be born so that next year she can sit in her swing and we can watch Tina ride her bike. We really love our new house.

Randy being a parent

I was so happy yesterday. My cousin is having us watch her infant. I could not stop smiling when I seen Randy with her. It seem to come naturally to him. I never seen him smile bigger. He is going to be a great father. It makes me more and more excited about having Ava in 4 months. He changed a dipar with no problems,fed the baby, and he even burped the baby. Keep in mind Randy has never had a child or even been around them. I wish I took a picture because it was the cutest thing. I really think we are ready.

No keys

Well we did not get the keys yesterday. We were pretty disappointed. It seems like everyday there is a new excuse. Well we are suspose to get them this morning. I have to work this evening so there is not much I can do to help. I also have to work tomorrow. So I guess Randy will be on his own. Well thats all for today.

Moving, divorce and my car

We are going to receive possession of our house today. Yesterday, Randy and I were feeling really frustrated. The people had already moved out, but they still haven't gave us the keys. I guess they wanted to clean. So, this weekend we will be busy moving in. I cant wait.

I talked to Jeff on here and on the phone yesterday and he is getting his peace classes done next week. After that we should finally get a hearing and be divorced. I was really getting frustrated and stressed out because I just really want my life to fully start. Looks like it might actually start before the end of the month.

I got my car ( 2001 Chevey Impala) fixed yesterday finally. It was having alot of problems with the security system and sometimes it would not start. Byrds finally made things right for once and paid for half of it. I was happy that they finally took responability for their coustomers. That must be a common problem because it did not take long to fix.

I took Tina yesterday to Taft to get her registered for school. the 20th is open house and I wanted to make sure I got that done so she could start on time. I will get a letter in the mail telling me what teacher she has and when she starts school. I really hope she gets Janet Kruder she is one of the best. I studied under her when I was in the teaching academy. She is now teaching all day. There is no half a day anymore! I am so happy about that, I feel you might as well start them out full day if they are going to be that way in first grade.Jeff is going to send me money for school stuff. He is also starting to take responsibility. Things are starting to look up!

Everything

Work

I have been working since friday with no day off. Its been hard. I have been very tired. I really love it though. The three women I take care of are so much fun. I really enjoy doing for them. One of them has a fish and it died yesterday. I felt so bad for her. I was able to cheer her up which I was glad for. I have to work today til 3:15, so Randy and I will get home at the same time. I then get two days off. I am going to pack and relax my two days. I really think I have earned it considering I worked two 12 hour shifts and I am not used to it yet.

Ava

I am now 21 weeks. Last night Randy felt Avanelle kick. He was surprised by how hard she was kicking. I told him that is why I cant sleep at night. I cant believe how active she is. I feel like its early for her to be this active, but aleast I know she is healthy. I havent gained much wieght back, and I found out I have to gain back the 19 pounds I lost plus an additional 25-35 pounds. So I am starting my wieght gain in the negative.Hopefully this month I have some major wieght gain.

Moving

We are hopefully moving this week. The people appear to be out of the house. We are just waiting on keys. Randy and I are so excited. I am getting kind of upset that we own the house and its empty and we dont have keys. I think its because I am excited and when I get that way I get inpatient.

Family

I really love Randys family, dont get me wrong. I appericate everything they have done. I am however very upset at them. I guess I shouldnt say family I should say grandma and aunt. Its not the whole family. His cousin was pregnant too at the same time. She had the perfect pregnancy, no sickness or anything. Well as you know I was very very sick. Nobody seemed to care til Randys mom got mad and made everyone care. I just feel like my pregnancy is being treated like a mistake while Chars is being treated like a gift from god if you will. Well heres an example, when Char told everyone she was pregnant it was a huge deal. When I told everyone it seemed like the already used up all that energy on her. At first I tried to understand, it took her a long time to get pregnant. Well then I thought about it, it took me a long time to. I was not able to have children when I was married due to the birthcontrol shot I took. I was actually shocked to find out I was pregnant. So it should be the same excitement. Well heres another example, everytime Randys grandma comes to visit all she talks about is Char. I mean its really annoying. Even when I was sick and she came to visit me in the hospital. At the time Char was fine. Well Char had her baby two months early. So once again thats all anyone talks about. I know its a big deal but I cant help to feel cheated, when I was sick they did not care, but now since she had her baby early everyone is at the hospital all the time and everything. Nobody from that side was at the hospital for me. I just wonder if they will even care when the baby comes. Or will they come and talk about Chars baby the whole time. Sorry but for once I want someone to care about what I have went through. I am lucky to have a baby inside of me. Hopefully after this all blows over, we can get back to my pregnancy. I guess I want them to be excited for Randy and I. I guess I want them to visit me and talk about my baby. I know for awhile that wont be possible considering it was early, but I just hope they get over that and dont compare my baby to hers, or my parenting to hers. Well I am sure everything will work out.

It's a Girl!!! Going back to work

Its a girl! I was really wanting a boy, but once I seen her beautiful face I could not help but to be completly over joyed. Randy look like he was going to cry. I never seen him so happy. Christina is happy. She said that now she has a back up singer. I just hope my girls dont have HG. I do want grand children someday. I decided that I am going to do my babys rooms in ocean, but I am going to do the whole Rainbow fish thing. I think thats a wonderful story, it teaches sharing and selflessness. I hope my girls have those qualities. I really think its good I am having a girl, I am the perfect example of what a women should be. I am kind, a great mom, intelligent, independent, and honest. I am a great role modle for what my girls should be.Some wome should have little boys, especially the ones whos husbands have better personalities than them. Oh I almost forgot, her name is going to be Avanelle, Ava for short. Not sure on a middle name, Tina is going to choose it.

Well I am going back to work today. I am so glad. We have alot to do before the baby is born. I did not get much sleep so I am not sure if I will make it the whole shift. I am training at a new house. I am no longer going to work at littleton because they dont want me lifting anything. I am kind of glad, I really didnt want to get invovled in all that drama anyway. I am so happy that I will be once again helping people with disablities. I really think they are special people that need help to. I really care about those people. I know theres not much money in it but I think the job makes me who I am. Most people know what that is so I dont think I need to explain.

Today I find out what the baby is. I am so excited. I don't think Randy's Grandma will be coming though. Randy cousin is having some problems. Her baby's heartbeat is real low, so she is in the hospital. So she probably wont come. Randy took the day off today to spend it with his grandpa, atleast til my appointment. I am glad he is close with his family. I just hope they don't think that since we are close that they can tell us how to raise our child. They don't know that I am Anti Spanking, I am not sure if they will have a problem with it or not. I don't like any type of violence against children. I don't like the hand hitting, pretty much I hate violence.I know if any of them does it to Tina or the baby, it will be the last person they hit. I will press charges against anyone who hits my children. My family understands that. They learned that with Tina and have backed off. My family has even commented on how well behaved my child is. How do you think she got that way? She was taught not abused. She was shown how to listen. I am a great mom and I know that I just hope Randy's family understands that I know what I am doing. I have a child who is wonderful to prove it.