I hope my husband works......

I am a sucker or maybe I have too much empathy for others. I am not sure which. 

I was texted messaged about Thanksgiving and after seeing my other sister in-law say she was not going, I felt bad for my sister in-law because I know she is going through alot. I gave in. I told her I would go out of compassion and because I did not want to hurt her feelings. I then ask her if she wants me to bring anything. As usual no response. Then, I remember why I did not want to go in the first place. The only thing we have in common is her brother. That's it. She does not want to have a relationship with me. I suspect by the way she treats me that she does not even like me. Hell, I often wonder is she even gives a shit about her brother. She never reaches out or tries to keep in communication. Never rsvps to birthdays. I have tried text messaging and emailing her to cultivate a relationship. No response.

Randy was offered overtime on Thanksgiving. If he gets it, I am not going. I am not going to a function that  is that far away, then putting my kids in danger with my horrible night driving. It also gives me a much needed excuse to not go. I can then have my Thanksgiving at home like I wanted all along.

I guess all my empathy is usually not earned and typically I regret being so nice because it's not even return or appreciated. I don't like feeling that way but it's how things are.

But we don't really have a relationship

Family always amazes me. You have the family you are close to and the family that you see a few times a year. A third type of family may be the type that complains they never see you, and makes little effort to change that situation. 

I have a few types on both sides of my family and honestly it gets old. The complaining is probably my biggest petpeeve especially when I have tried to become close to people. I have asked people's opinion. No response. I email, no response. I text, no response. How the hell do people expect something to change if there is no effort? I have three kids, a husband and I am attending college classes. My time is precious and if you are not willing to give me some of your time, why would I want to give you mine? 

So now I get to the deilema. Thanksgiving. I already started planning on staying home and maybe seeing my sister. Suddenly, my sister- in law wants us to come for Thanksgiving and if we don't she is going to be hurt. Huh? We are suppose to stop doing what we do every year, drive for two hours, and come to a dinner that will be full of adults and childless people. What is there for my kids to do? 

After having all these questions in my head for about a week, I realize that we are not talkng about a nice dinner, we are talking about emotional blackmail. Come to my dinner or I will complain even more. Give me some ammonition for my complaining. 

I am not doing it. If you can't invite us yourself, and present a reason to why we need to change our plans then the answer is respectfully no. And grow up. Trying to guilt someone is a two year old tactic and will be ignored. 

This year like every other year, hubby and I will make our own thanksgiving dinner with our children. We may even venture out for some shopping. No worries and no stress. Just my little family at the dinner table for a end of year feast.