I love me! and the changes in me.

I think since I lost 9 pounds and counting that I have become a very different person. I love me!!! I love how I look and I love who I am. My confidence is through the roof. I think I am beautiful, intelligent, worthy, great mother, and great spouse. I am not perfect by any means but I love me!! Randy has shown me that he loves me no matter what. I am not doing this for him. I am doing this for me. I love the way it makes me feel. I feel sexy, beautiful and healthy. Those are the things I want. I feel like I can do anything. I am doing the impossible. I am taking off the baby weight. Something alot of mothers do not ever try to do. I am seeing results. I have lost 2 inches. My love handles are almost gone!! I feel happier. Randy has even noticed. I have more energy. I am more motivated to get things done. I carry myself with confidence. I just feel like a new person. I do not know how to explain it. It is amazing how food and weight affect your moods and how you feel about yourself. I feel great!!!!! I look great!!! I love me!!!

Crafts with Ava..... Everyday!!

One thing I love about being a mother is the fact that we do lots of crafts together. Monday which is today we are making a flower, coloring D for Daisy, doing a flower fingerplay, and making a paper plate flower. I really enjoy teaching her and doing things with her. Tuesday we are doing a bug day. All kind of bug activities. Wednesday we are doing an under the sea day. Thursday we are doing a Butterfly day, and Friday a zoo day!! I am planning all of this out as we speak. Avanelle learns so much when I am home.

I am so excited to take her to the zoo. She can talk and walk now. It is going to be so much fun. Christina and her can finally enjoy it as sisters.

Well that is all I have for now. I have to get back to doing things.

Things do not always work out the way you want them too.

Tis life they say. Life is hard. Sometimes you have a financial goal and no matter how hard you try it does not work out. My child support problem has left me in a bad situation. I guess somehow he was ahead. No idea how that happened. Anyway, he did not pay the whole month of March leaving me behind on my car payment. Recently his child support got raised but unfortuely until paperwork is completed in 4-6 weeks I will not receive it. Also he will start out behind. He will have to pay 20% more because of this. Wow stupid huh? Oh well I guess I will have to make due. I called my car company and they will wait and work with me. I do not care the baby is happening in December I refuse to wait any longer than that.

We will make it work somehow. We always land on top. Good guys finish first, or so they say.

Sunny Sunday

I had a great Sunday. Randy and I took the girls hiking at Sharon's woods. It was so much fun. The girls really loved seeing animals, flowers and playing on the rocks. It was nice after a long week to finally have some family time. To us family is the most important thing. I know we were invited to a family thing but Randy decided that it would not be fair to the girls to go somewhere where there would be really nothing to do. We almost stopped by on the way back but the girls were asleep.

When we got home I made shrimp stir fry and Randy and I fixed out front yard. We put down more top soil and put up the border around our flowers. It looks very nice. I am excited for some flowers to get out there. I love flowers.

Next weekend I am off we are going to the zoo. We have not been there for a couple of years as a family. It is going to be a blast. I plan to be there all day long. I want to see everything. My girls are super excited. So am I.

So lets rewind I forgot about Saturday. Randy had to work as usual. He has been working hard at work and school. Matter of fact he is doing very well with his college class. I am very proud of him. Well he had to work and Tina had a friend spend the night. We had uniform pick up and pictures. We did that. She of course wore pink socks and dress shoes. I hope I laugh about it when she is older because I was really upset because she was getting her pictures taken. Oh well I guess. Tina then stayed the night for the first time with a friend. She loved having a little freedom and I loved getting rid of her lol. Ava and I flew a kit for awhile. So much fun.

So over all I had a great weekend with my crazy family. Hope to have more. You only get one chance to be a parent I indeed on embracing it til the end.

Do you always have to choose?

I never thought I would be a mother. I remember as an early teenager having these plans of becoming a teacher, getting married and maybe traveling. I never even really held a baby because I was always intimated by their size. The year 2000 at 16 I got pregnant. My whole prospective of being a mother changed and so did my plans. That is when the order of things changed. I wanted to graduate from high school, get married and finish college. Not as easy as it sounds. So to make a long boring story short my plans changed again. I did not stay married and I did not stay in college. Now here I am at the age of 25 nowhere closer to where I want to be, career wise. But when I look at myself in the mirror I like who I see. I am a mother. A damn good one. I find myself at a cross road again. Do I put off the rest of my family and go to college? Or do I keep doing what I am doing have the third child, then go back to college? Can you have it all? I am sure you can but for me right now I want to focus on my children. Reality, I would not get to spend much time with them between college and working. I could get my associates online but if I want to have another baby, there is breastfeeding and there is the HG. I would fall behind and put myself in a situation where I would end up owing the school money. So right now is not the right time. I am disappointed but here in a year or so I think I may take online classes. After my third baby is born and I get on a routine. I will eventually have a degree but timing is everything. I really admire the people I know that have a career and are waiting on the family. They are carefree. They can go when they please and have fun. Doing things is that order is good and probably makes things easier. I have always loved a challenge. I have always made things harder than they had to be. Instead of going around something I try to hop the hell over it. Does not make life easy but it's my own special way of doing things. Not what most people would consider the right way but not everything is black and white. I will be getting my career when everyone else I know is having the children. I will be done with children before they will be and still young enough to enjoy life. So while I am disappointed I have found some positive things to hold on to. My kids will all be gone when I am in my early 40s. So much life still left. I will enjoy grand kids and finish out the rest of my life with the man I love. Life does not get any more rewarding than that. I will be a teacher someday it just might take me some more time. My first goal is the family. I love my family andwho would have thought that I would be a good mom? I never did. I guess you learn things everyday. Sometimes the last thing you think you will do becomes your passion. I get to be my daughter's first teachers. I get to see them grow and learn. I do not think I would feel complete without my first career, being mom. To answer my own question, yes you have to choose sometimes. But once the struggle is over and my kids are a little bigger, I will have it all. So yes you can have it all. Just sometimes not all at once.

Weekend

Saturday Randy is working. He is actually going in really early.Tina has uniform pick up and pictures. After that I think I am going to go home and eat lunch. We will probably have a lazy night unless we need to go grocery shopping.

Sunday we are very conflicted. Randy wants to go to his Great Grandmas birthday but at the same time he hardly knows anyone there and there have been some little issues in the past regarding Tina. She was no included in a five generation picture because Randy's grandma did not want her in it. Pretty crappy if you ask me. I am glad some people feel the way Randy feels. I think that is all that matters and people should respect how he feels. If he loves her like she is his own everyone else should too. In my house I do not believe in the word step. Randy and I do not feel she is a step daughter. Family is what you make of it. If Randy wants her to be his daughter than she is.

My father in law is a great example of how a person should treat a child. He is not Randy's bio dad but he is Randy's father. He loves him like his own. He even adopted him. I respect that man more than he will ever know. He taught Randy well.

My mother in law and father in law have embraced Tina. I mean they love her and treat her just like they do Ava. For that I am grateful. Other people have shown they do not feel that way about her. That is fine and that is their opinion but they need to keep it away from me and my family. Randy's sisters are the same. They love Tina and treat her just like they do Ava. It's the extended family that is the problem. Most people do not see it. But I do. I am very observant and it may not have been said but it has been shown. I am a firm believer in actions speak louder than words. Displaying that picture without my daughter in it shows how you feel. You do not see her as a part of the family. That is wrong and will not be tolerated. I cannot and will not allow my daughter to be treated that way.

So I am not sure if we will go or not. If we don't go then I want to go hiking or to the batting cages. We will play it by ear. So conflicted. It's hard when things with family are unpredictable.

Pictures: Pictures from the first time I met Randy's great grandma. Also a funny picture of my favorite father in law. I love that men he is a riot. Makes me laugh.

Family making plans

May 1st we are going to the zoo. I am very excited about this because it has been awhile since Randy and I took the kids. We spent alot of last summer doing fun activities but I am thinking this year we should start saving money. We probably will get a small pool and stay home. Besides Randy is going to take two classes this summer. We probably will go camping once and do some small hiking picnic days. I really want another baby so we really need to start saving now. So that is what is going on in the future.

I lost another 1.5 pounds this week. They seem to be melting off. I guess sticking to something has it's rewards.

You know something. I live for my husband's smile. I live for his goofy jokes and his laugh. I thought about his all day yesterday. Every time I seen him smile my world was perfect. I never wanted to make someone this happy before. He is loosing weight too. Not sure how much he has lost I think a few pounds. I am so proud of him and what he is doing. I love my hubby. Well I hope everyone has a great day. Smile it may make someones day!!

Not for me..... Why fix what is not broken?

I was on cafemom today and people where shoving homeschooling down other people's throat kind of like some people do with religion.Kind of pissed me off til I realized that my daughter is getting the best education for her. She goes to the best school in the county and she is getting everything to needs to succeed. I mean it is not for everyone but I think there are some really big disadvantages of being home schooled. This made me go to my daughter and ask her what she thought. She told me that she loves going to school everyday and it has taught her team work. I was surprised at that response.She also went on to tell me that she gets to meet other kids from different cultures and she learns not to bully other kids. She also loves the fact that she meets other adults and learns things from them. I thought what a very intelligent response from a eight year old I must be doing something right.

Why I do not home school or ever would...
1. My daughter needs socialization and needs to learn to respect other adults. Chances are she is going to have to go work in the outside world and she must learn to tolerate other people and cultures.She needs to learn people have different beliefs and how to deal with them. She also needs to learn to respect other adults. If she is home all the time how will she learn that? How will she learn that I am not the only person in the world that knows things. I think it is good for her to see things and learn things from someone with a different perspective. She needs to learn to deal with peer pressure and make her own decisions. I trust her and I know that with me guiding her she will do fine. Not without mistakes mind you. Everyone makes those though.

2. I need to be away from my children. They need to be away from me. It is healthy to be away from your children when ever possible. I am not saying leave them with someone for weeks on end. I am saying a nice 6 hour break everyday is nice. They need to be with their peers and learn how to deal with social situations.

3. I am not a qualified teacher. I do not know everything. It is nice to have my daughter in a school that has highly qualified teachers that can teach her. I do teach her at home I have since birth. But a teacher knows more about learning and how to teach.

4. I do not like schedules and I am not a person that can stick to things. i would not be a good home teacher. Having the option of doing it when ever would not be motivating for me. In the long run it would hurt my daughter's education. I am better with classroom settings and structure. Hard to have that at home.

5. I do not have the time. I work and I have another daughter. I have to work or we would not have the things we have. Being a stay at home mom is not an option because I like working and the feeling it gives me. I cannot devote every minute of my life to my children. Seriously it would drive me crazy. I like getting out of the house and doing something else. I love the break and the feeling it gives me. I have another purpose besides being a mother. Keeps me emotionally healthy and not depressed. I was depressed when I was a stay a home mom before I refuse to go back there. Plus it is my duty to provide for them.

6. My daughter and I would just butt heads. We are too much alike. Independent and stubborn. We would just argue and never get anything done. She likes things done her way and I like things done my way. Plus she focuses better at school less distractions.

7. My daughters school is working. She is thriving. Why try to fix what is not broken? She is getting challenge materials and I know how she is doing based on the state standards. When you are homeschooling you have no idea how she is doing compared to her peers and the state standards. I get a report every week. I know what she needs to work on and what she is excelling in.

8. I want to be her parent. I don't not want to be the person that totally educates her. Too much responsibility when there are people that went to school to do that. I think homeschooling is a conflict of interest for me. I cannot be a good parent and home school. I will pressure her too much and get inpatient. She is my child. I want her to be the best. I may take it too far. I do not mind teaching her what I know but it is nice for someone else whose job it is to teach to do that for her. That is why I pay taxes.

9. My daughter does not want to be home schooled. She loves getting out and away. She told me that herself.



10. I know what I can do and what I cannot do as a mother. I am not afraid to admit it. I just plain out do not have what it takes to home school. It does not make me a bad mom. It makes me a good mom. I know it will not be beneficial to my children therefor I will not do it. Plus I want to go back to school someday call me selfish but I want a life too. I would like to do what I love to do. I am a person and I have goals and things I want to accomplish. I think a mother has to be a little selfish. I only have one life to live too.

11. Field trips, school activities, fund raisers, assemblies, school dances, and all the other activities that come with being in a public school are beneficial to getting accepted into college. Sure there are some disadvantages but if you parent your children right and have open conversations with them you should be just fine. As far as drugs, teen pregnancy, and peer pressure goes it is a part of life. Something your child needs to learn about. How to deal with real life situations. How to say no. How to fight temptation. l I was a teen mom and it had nothing to do with school and everything to do with not being loved at home. I am not making excuses but I did not have the tools to make the decisions because my mother was never there. I am not that mother and I am not worried about it. My daughter has love she will not need to seek it elsewhere. We have a great relationship and she will come to me. I trust her. I love her.She knows she can tell me anything. She has in the past. She has confided in me and Randy about things. How she is feeling. We have talked to her.



So overall I am never going to home school. Those are my reasons. I love how people do not know your situation and love to judge. None of those people have no clue that I recently open enrolled my daughter in the school she is in after doing hours of research and reading. I know all my options and I choose what is best for my daughter. Not what is best for me. Some people home school because they cannot let go of their children. I feel bad for them. Let your child have a life!! Let them experience things and do things. You have to cut the apron strings at some point. As hard as it was and is I know it was best. My daughter is going to be a great person because of it. Hell both of them will. Well rounded and intelligent. I always put them first. I always will. I can deal with the emotions of them growing up. I am not going to keep them home to keep me company. I have a life, friends, job and other things going on. After they are gone I have goals and ambitions. I am proud of my decision and I stick by it. My child, my choice.

Heath Coach

I talked to my health coach today and I feel energized!! I am ready to continue doing what I am doing. I felt kind of weird not exercising over the weekend but it gave my muscles time to rest and be energized for today. She helped me set up goals. I have shopping goals, exercise goals, and eating goals. I am so excited and pumped right now. You have no idea. It is nice to have a cheerleader. Randy is going to call today and get a health coach. He is going to do this with me. We are going to do this as a couple. That is what a marriage is all about working together and helping one another reach common goals.

I am keeping a food journal and exercise log. I want to determine what I am dong right and what I still need to work on. In two weeks my coach will call me and check up on me. She wants to see how I am doing and keep me motivated. Ava never naps anymore so I should be plenty active lol. I am so happy and I feel so good. I have a feeling the next year is going to be the best year of my life. I am going to loose weight and be a family with the man of my dreams for another year. Also my kids are getting older and more beautiful everyday. My marriage is rock solid. We are planning a baby. Life does not get any better than this. Love and family that is all I need.


Wish me luck. I will keep everyone updated on my progress. Just look at my weight loss ticker I update it once a week. Usually Wednesdays. Thanks for reading. Have a great day.

Health Coach and life

My insurance is starting to grow on me a little. I signed up for a healthy coach and they sent me a book, pedometer, and a waist measuring device. I am very excited to start my health sessions. Randy is going to join too. We both are going to do this together. I love it. Couple getting healthier and trying to have a better life for their family.

I went out yesterday and bought a scale. Way over due. I found that I have lost 6 pounds total. Very proud and very sore. My whole body is aching while getting used to exercising. Randy went to the library yesterday and got me some new videos. I am gong to burn them so I can use them after they are due. I think variety will keep me going. I do know one thing I do now know where to start. I might do the jogging one today. I am going to have to nap today. I have been so tired in the evenings and falling asleep on Randy all week. Hopefully today I can take a nap. Exercising has been wearing me out. I have some clothes to put away and some cleaning to do. But other than that my house looks great. I work all weekend. I am off next weekend. Looking forward to some quality time with the family. Randy has been going to school and I have not been seeing him really but on Fridays. I so look forward to Fridays. Well I am off to wake up Tina and take her to school. I hope to exercise when I get back. I gotta find the energy lol. So tired. Might drink an energy drink and eat some oatmeal. Mmmm oatmeal.

Very Encouraging...

I feel so encouraged by the scale. I lost two pounds this week. I am so excited and I feel ready to do more. I have a feeling things are going to melt off. I am ready for a better me. I know two pounds is not alot but it is the thing that has me up today ready to work out and eat right. Randy has been very supportive. I am very lucky to have him. Tina swears that I look different with two pounds gone. I do not think you will notice a difference til about 10 or so. It is all in my belly and I carry it well so it is hard to tell. I already have super skinny arms. Yeah I hate my arms.

How am I feeling today? Well I am sore all over. Of course I would be I have been working hard. I feel positive and tired. Oh so tired. I hope I start feeling energetic after I drop Tina off. Rain always has me dragging. Glad I do not live in Seattle. I would never wake up. I am feeling better.. not like I usually am in the morning, not the least bit cranky. I usually am a little cranky since I worked til 11. But no I am happy and cheerful. Well off to eat some energy oatmeal and fruit. Breakfast is a must when you are trying to loose weight. That was my mistake before. I so learned from it.

Tina's First Practice and working my ass off literally

Tina had her first practice yesterday. Wow she did better than I expected. She seem to have alot of fun. Unfortunately something happened, she was afraid to ask for a bathroom break and she had an accident. I think she might have another uti. I am gonna have to get her into the doctor. I think I was able to make her feel better because I did the same thing when I was in softball. When I was eight I peed my pants on accident because I too was afraid to ask for a bathroom break. A good example of how Tina and I are so alike. She has another practice on Friday. I am going to make sure she uses the bathroom before she leaves.

Wow I am working my ass off literally. Yeah my butt hurts. Actually my whole body hurts right now. I am been doing the walk away the pounds videos. I love them. They are a little faith based but I can ignore that. Hell I have to ignore it all the time I am pretty used to it. I was doing the five mile fat burning video and I was so out of breath. I had to stop. I really like the set up though. I love the jogging added in. Most of the videos I have seen only have you walking. The jogging is defiantly a plus.

Next Monday I have to talk to my health coach. I hope she can help me with how I can loose weight. I like to loose 30 pounds by December. Would not hurt to loose more. I really have put it on slowly over the years. Randy, I love him but he is a bad influence on me. I have never weigh this much in my whole entire life, not even during pregnancy. Well the end of my pregnancy. I am not being mean but yesterday he hate two hamburgers then tried to eat a hot dog too. I stopped him and asked him if he is really with me. He said yes. I do not know though. He loves food. I hope at some point to work out with him. I wish we had bikes. We would take the kids on bike rides. Something to save up for someday.

When I was younger I would ride my bike everywhere. I did not realize it at the time but damn I looked good back then. No wonder I had boys wanting to be my "friend". So naive back then. I hope to have some of that back someday. I will never weigh 130 again I realize that but I can settle for 140. I really do not want to define a weight for myself. I just want to be within the normal range. The healthy range. I want Randy to be there too. I am afraid for him. I am afraid of health problems down the road. I wish we could do it together but time is not allowing us. So I am doing it on my own and he is on his. Wish us luck. Above is our before picture hopefully I will have a nice after picture. Also there is a picture of Tina practicing.

Birthdays the older you get the less they matter..

So yesterday was my birthday. I used to have this feeling of it being my special day. Not anymore seems like just a time to spend money on tags and new licenses. Ava had a bad potty training day and time slipped away. It seemed like before I knew it I was at work. My clients were very happy to see the bunny cake me and the girls made . I was very glad to share it with them. I got lots of hugs and "Happy Bitthdays" I appreciated all of them. I could not believe how many people actually cared it was my birthday. I was even amazed that i got birthday wishes from Randy's family. That was very nice of them. I know that things have been stressful in that area but I am hopeful things will slowly get better. Takes time to heal. Especially when you were hurt very badly. I am now 25 and as happy as can be. I have my husband and my beautiful girls and life could not get any better. I am very fortunate. I feel lucky everyday

Something that has been bothering me is Randy and his college. I am very worried that he is not studying enough. I am going to make him from the time he gets home til he goes to school today. I am perfectly capable of doing everything. I wish I could get that through to him. I have it on the days he has school. I actually enjoy it. I love playing with my girls and having girl time. Randy is afraid of being left out of something. I guess if that is the biggest problem we have I should be grateful. I guess I will just have to keep on him. I hope he does better. Maybe I should help him study. I am sure we will figure it out. Just thought I would vent a little.

Easter... What a wonderful day of peace

Spa is the word that comes to mind when I think of yesterday. We started the morning with eating a small breakfast then making rabbit masks for our egg hunt. That did not turn out like I wanted it to. I needed some of that elastic stuff to make them stay on. Oh well the girls still liked them. They hunted eggs in the back yard. Then we packed a lunch and headed out to highbanks. i swear the beauty of that place takes all my stress away. We played on the playground then took a good two mile walk. Amazing!! Felt so good to be out in nature. Felt so good to be alone as a family. No worries just us. We know what to expect. We know that mistreating each other is not allowed. It was a day to remember. We came home from high banks then cooked our dinner on the grill. So nice to sit on that picnic table that Randy and I made with our family. I never take it for granted. It is the best thing I can possibly imagine. I felt at peace. I felt wanted loved and part of a family. All that I ever wanted. I have it. Randy told me later that night that everything in his life is together, he has all he ever wanted. That made me melt. I feel the same way.

Randys Birthday and the pain I feel

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Randy had a very good birthday. He woke up with the day off which was nice. We ate a big breakfast as a family. I went to work for awhile and then we went shopping. I came home and cooked two really big cheese cakes. I really loved cooking them. Then Randy and I cleaned up the house and picked up my sister. Kisten and her boyfriend came over. Kind of awkward but I got through it. Then my cousin came over and we all had a great time eating and talking. I felt like I had some family. I have not felt that good about family in a long time. I really appreciated them all coming over to celebrate with us.

Sometimes Randy and I feel like we do not have much family that we can depend on besides his mother and father. It was nice to see that I have some family that love me and want to spend time with me. Family that I know will be there and love me for me. There are no conditions. I do not have to do what they want or suffer the consequences. Family that does not want to run my life. Healthy relationships. That is what I want. That is what I need right now. I have spent my whole life with toxic relationships. I deserve better and I will not accept anything less than that. If this upsets people than so be it.

If I was to let myself feel all the pain I feel inside I would have a nervous breakdown. I almost did on Saturday evening. I found some way out of it. I have all these issues eating at me. I have the whole not having parents issue, Randy's family issues, my grandpa dieing ( one year anniversary) and always trying to do the right thing. Trying to please everyone. I spent a good part of the evening crying and feeling sick to my stomach. I love my family but I have to do what is best for me. I have to protect me. I cannot allow people to hurt me anymore. I seriously cannot take it anymore. So if I have to keep people at a distance then so be it. I can no longer accept mental abuse from family members. I can no longer be put down and down graded. I am a person and I deserve respect. So if for some reason I do not spend time with you it is because I am trying to have a better healthy life.

Five years ago I was a different person and I would put up with it. I am not that person anymore. I am a person that expects people to treat me the way I treat them. No better no less. I do not think that is too much to ask. I want acceptance. I want to be able to trust people. I want people to be loyal to me. I need understanding. I need people to want to love me not to hurt me. Seems like when it comes to family that is what everyone is out to do. So if I am not too keen on family then you should understand I have never truly experienced family. Every time I have tried I have been hurt. I tried with Jeff's family. I tried with Randy's. All that has bit me in my ass. I intend now to focus on what I already have. Focus on the things that are working. I have a good relationship with several of my cousins and with my sister. My mother in law and father in law are my best friends. They are my support system. Then I have my dad. We are working on things. I hope someday to be able to have a great relationship with him. keeping my fingers crossed. He is the closest thing I have to a parent. I have to accept that and embrace it. I will never have anything better than that.

Working very hard to find a way...

I have been doing lots of research lately and trying to gear up for what is going to be probably the one of the greatest fights of my life. As most people know I have severe morning sickness hyperemesis gravidarum. I had my first case when I was 16. I was on ivs at home and in and out of the hospital constantly. With my second child my insurance would not pay for ivs at home unless I got a picc line. My doctor convinced me that it would be too invasive for what I have. I really regret that decision. So here I am now, I am getting ready. I have been researching medication and I am very hopeful. I am changing doctors and making a new start. I found a new doctor and I hope he is able to help me or at least point me in the right direction. I think I am ready for this. I am ready to try something different like maybe a new drug that claims to stop nausea during pregnancy. I hope he is ready for me.

List of things I need to do:
1. loose weight. I think this is a must. My doctor recommends that I get down to a healthy weight. Well according to his website. I am actively working on that. I do not want high blood pressure or diabetes while pregnant

2.Talking to the doctor three months before I am thinking about getting pregnant to see if he can refer me or if he can handle my case.

3. Research on new ways to treat my condition. Pricing medications and deciding what I would like to use. Of course the doctor has the final say but I hope he takes what I know into consideration.

4. Charting my temperature so we can conceive right away.

5. Taking prenatal vitamins during the time I am getting ready.

5. Maintaining a healthy diet and making sure I am exercising everyday.

6. Enjoy the planning process this is the first time I am having a planned baby

7. Enjoy my two kids before there is s third

8. Deal with my vaginal infections with the doctor( should be one on the list)

9. Save money

10. Remember that you only live once and that you love children. If you wait too long you will never be ready. Nobody is 100% prepared.

11. Just take a risk and do it!!!! Start the completion process of your family.


So that is my list of things to do in the next 9 months. They are not necessarily in order. We can do this and we should do this. Who cares about insurance I don't. I am ready to be a Mommy again. I want to look at my family picture someday and think " we are complete". Everyone has bills and everyone figures it out. We will too.