Am I Anti Social? and First week of class.

Call me anti-social but I just really do not like people. Besides my family and some ex coworkers. I just do not trust people. I might see a person in public and not even talk to them. Why? because I do not need drama, bs or I just do not care to chat. 

You would understand if you lived in my town. It's full of religious nuts and people who are just stupid. I do not have time for it. I have three kids, and a husband working his ass off to make a good living for us. If it's just us then there is no drama and no complications. I can do things the way I want. When you add friends in the mix, you set yourself up for hurt, drama and unnecessary stress. I have yet to meet someone who I would consider a real friend to me.  I have some ok friends but none that I 100 percent trust. 

I think it boils down to I like myself better than anyone. I am fine by myself. I do not have to have people all the time in my life to be happy. I have my kids, husband and family members. I am happy. It would be nice to have friends but who needs friends when they back stab you? When you the moment someone better comes along they desert you? Like I said I do not have time for it. 

If I was to have a best friend, she would have to be ok with me being an Atheist and maybe even share the same view point. She would have to no spank her kids, she would have to be creative and fun. Trustworthy and loyal. There is nobody like this in this town. So that is why I do not have friends. I am fine with that. I would rather have quality friends than quantity. But if I cannot have that then I am more than fine by myself. I have kids and husband to keep me busy. 

It is better to have one friend of great value than to have many friends of little value.
- Author Unknown

On another unrelated note, school week was crazy!!!! I feel like I have not even seen my husband this week. When he is home I am tired, doing homework or he is doing his homework. Wow it is more busy then I ever thought. I am glad though. I feel like both of us are moving to where we want to be. We will get reconnected this weekend on Sunday when we take the kids to pick apples. I love him and I know he loves me. 

My math work is going great. I am ahead  and getting all A's so far. My English is going well too. I have done all my homework and I am starting to work ahead. The hour and a half of being alone has really helped me this week. I have been able to do house work and get my homework done. I am feeling very good about it. Only I feel so busy. Before I know it the kids are home and I am waiting on Randy. I guess this is life now. Better get used to it. 

Ava's First "real" day of Preschool and Mommy goes to school

Ava went to school by herself yesterday. I was so proud and sad. She did so well though so I guess it was not that bad. I did cry. You know me, the big cry baby! I think today will be easier on me because I have math homework to do and that should keep me pretty busy for about an hour or so. Not mention I have housework. 

Yesterday, I started my math class. I was able to get ahead on my work and I feel pretty good so far. There is a problem I am wondering what I did. I think I might do some more of those problems before I start my homework. The program Pearsonlabs is great for people that have trouble in Math. They explain things so well and give you great strategies to complete your work and understand it. Who knows? maybe I am good at math after all! I feel like math and I are starting over. Who knows maybe we will have a long lasting relationship.

Avanelle's first day of Preschool.

Where did the time go? How did my little girl become 4 and in preschool? Seems like yesterday she was born. My little snowflake. She is not so little anymore.

She is much more rotten then I ever imagined lol. I love her and I cannot believe how fast time has flew and how much she has changed.

 She had a great day at Preschool. She was very respectful where some kids wanted to interrupt and very helpful with cleaning up toys. This really surprised me. Her teacher is wonderful. I could not imagine a better teacher for my big girl. Next week she goes all by herself. She is anxious to do so. She loves me but she loves her teacher too. Yeah those are her words.

I was ok with her going the first time but just thinking about her going alone makes tears well up. I am not sure I am ready. I guess I better get ready. It's happening.

Back to school, last day and open house

Back to school week!! As an abnormal mother, I cry every year this time. I guess I think too much. Every year is a year closer to my little worlds going out into the world. I have to trust that they know right from wrong and I have done my job right.
Here's Tina's First day.

She is a fifth grader now. All grown up. She is getting ready for middle school this year by changing classes. I love the outfit by the way. Freaking cute!! She had a great first day. I called her from work and she seemed very happy.  Next year is middle school. I do not want to talk about that at the moment.

 

My Last Day!

Today is my last day of work. I am feeling indifferent. On one hand I am overjoyed to get the opportunity to focus on school and the kids. On the other I am sad because it's like I am saying good-bye to 6 years of my life. I know I did the right thing but I cannot help but feel like this is the end of my friendships with coworkers and my clients. I am going to cry and be sad at 11 tonight but I know in my heart it was never forever. I need an education. Randy needs me to be on board with his new career. We need to work as a team. This is not the end for me just a new beautiful beginning. 

Ava had open house. She is so excited too. Thursday which is tomorrow she will go with me til 2:10. They are doing a staggered start. I am sure she will do fine. I just hope she remembers the rules and does what she is told. She is my most rotten child. She knows I expect more out of her in public then I do at home. I told that girl all summer!

 

And the bitch of the day award goes to......

Chasity Channell!!! Wooo Hooo! 

I would like to think my ex for being a worthless piece of shit and for once again not helping with nothing, my one year old for waking up before the roosters, and my girls for being extra crazy today. Oh I almost forgot my husband for waking up my son, for not doing anything I asked him to do, and for not giving me enough time to talk at him at lunch. I would not want to forget my neighbor, that crazy women once again blocked my drive way without asking. Thanks for being considerate. 



I am having one of "those" days. I want to scream and runaway. Nothing is going right!

Don't let this smile fool you. It's an old picture. I am pissy today!

It all started with my son. He woke up wanted to eat again. I fed him then tried to roll over. Oh no he was not having that. My husband then comes in and kisses me goodbye. He then talks to him, which is a huge freaking no no! Then the little man thinks he has 50 cups of coffee and proceeds to climb everything, get into everything, and drive his mommy freaking crazy! He is really not my only issue though.

Yesterday, I sent a text out asking my ex if he wanted to help with anything for school. (he has not helped in over two years). He gives me some freaking worn out excuse on how he does not have any money because he is moving. He has no other kids!!! He has one! Why can't he help with extra activities? He has not helped with softball or anything for two whole years. That was not the deal that  was that in our verbal contract. He does not pay health insurance any medical bills or anything. Guess who pays that? Randy does! Really frustrating and not fair.

Then the girls are not listening. I am not going to go into detail because honestly it's nothing new. Just getting to me more than usual. I am in a bad mommy mood so you know how that is.

Then you got my dumbass neighbor who does not have any respect or consideration for my driveway. She thinks it's hers to block anytime she wants. What happen to asking? What happen to being a good neighbor? Screw you lady!

Today might be horrible but like the optimist I am, I figure tomorrow is back up hill. I am sorry for those who had to deal with my wrath or my bitchy mood. Today is not a day to mess with me!!

I did it!!! I quit. Ready for my new Journey! and Did you really hang up on me?

Today I did it. I turned in my resignation from Basinger. I was super nervous and glad nobody important was there. I then as a courtesy I  called my supervisors and let them know since they were not at the office. I am just relieved that part is over.

I was sad for a few hours afterwards but I am glad it's over. Now  my life can be less stressful and more about my family. I am excited about starting at Columbus State and once Ava is in full day I am going to go full time. It was always the plan to get a degree, and now I can.


Really? Were my ears deceiving me. My mother hung up on me? I have news for her I was not even calling her. I was calling my sister. I have no reason to talk to her. What kind of mother dates your dad's cousin? What kind of mother does that shit? She wants to hang up on me? Well screw her!! She was a horrible mother anyway. I basically raised myself. She was too busy at the bar and with the man of the week to give a rats ass what we were doing as kids. That is why I got pregnant. I did not have a mother being a mother. Not to mention the physical and mental abuse I endured at her hands. She has not right to hang up on me. She is lucky she even gets a word from me on the damn holidays after the way she has treated me. Screw that bitch!! My life has been better without her. I am lucky I survived the hell that women has put me through.

Day one of new schedule for Corbin and My final decision

Today, I started Corbin on a new napping schedule. He typically takes two and I really want to consolidate it to one. I need the extra time during the day for my classes in a  couple of weeks. So we kept busy all morning. We painted, played outside, went for a car ride, and had lunch. He barely made it through lunch. Poor guy was exhausted.

So time will tell if I get more sleep and if he is able to rest a bigger period during the day, instead of taking two naps. I do not mind getting up early, I am going to have to get used to that again anyway. Not like I have not got up early all summer anyway. My kids do not sleep in lol.

There is no way I am going to do the whole let them stay up so I can sleep. Not judging those who do that but I personally feel it's selfish and it would never work for my family. Randy and I love to spend out 9- 11 pm time together. We drink wine and enjoy being married. It's about all we have. Kids need consistent schedules and going to bed early gets them ready for when they are going to do it in school. Anyway, my kids need their sleep. They would not do well going to bed super late.

Cuteness!!

Snoring away under his favorite blankie.


On another note. I have a decision to make. Yep yep. I know I said I wanted to "try" the whole job thing before I quit mine. Well, Randy and I talked it into the ground and we think maybe. Maybe is the key word. It may be a good idea to put in my notice before school starts. Work, school and three kids might be too much. So depending on what he finds out today about the job will depend on what I do. I am personally thinking it's better now then later. I can get things started out on a schedule and there will be less stress for me. I do not know I am very torn. Money is awesome to have, and I will miss my clients. I really do not know. I promise I won't think too long. I am just scared I guess.

How many resignation letters does one need?

Four if you are not sure what day you are quitting. I have one for the meeting ( in case it goes south). I have one in case Randy gets put on an off shift immediately. I have one for the end of the month, one and one for the time I originally thought I would quit. Is that four? I have no idea lost count. You get the idea though.

Is it wrong that I am excited about quitting? I mean I almost want to hoot, holler and jump up and down. It's not the job itself believe me. It's the people I work for. They do not get that people have kids and lives. They are unorganized and it is not compatible with my life anymore.

I cannot wait to tell them to take this job and shove it!!!

Big latch Baby! Wedding and future plans!!!

Super Duper freaking excited!!! So much I have to say today. So little time. I hope I can type fast enough before Corbin wakes up!

Big latch baby! What a fun time!  Two people is better than none. I feel energized and ready to make a difference. I ran into some people from Marion Wic. They invited me out to lunch but I had a wedding to go to so I could not go. I hope that I am able to become a part of wic even on a volunteer basis. I would love to help breastfeeding women.

I got a blanket from the event and me and the other mom( she had a 20 month old) latched our children together at 10:30. No cover!! I was super proud of doing that. I love feeling normal!

What's going on after this for me? More involvement in the LLL and wic support meetings to help other women. I have no problem with not getting paid. I love helping people and being there for them. What a great morning that was!

My friend since elementary school got married. I was so happy for her. I got to wear a pretty dress and go out with hubby. The day could not have gotten any better. I hope they have a long happy marriage. Having three kids to start a marriage is going to be tough. I am sure they are up for the challenge.

Now I get to the future plan part. Randy starts his new job and I am quitting mine September 24. By October 8th I will be done working for the time being. I am still actively looking for a job but with school I am not sure what will happen. I also got a call from the school and Ava gets to go to Taft. She will be in afternoon. So that worked out. Now for my school crap to work out. Then I will be set.

Marriage it predates Bible so what is the problem?

If you can show me a verse that says same sex couples should not be wed then please do. I know for a fact there is not one. 

Christians, I hate to break it to ya but you do not own the word marriage! Marriage traditions predate yours. You do not own the word or the definition.

The word marriage comes from, according to Wordorgins.org

marriage, n., the condition of being husband and wife, since 1975 sometimes applied to same-sex couples. Also applied to the ceremony and celebrations associated with the beginning of such a union. Also applied to other forms of relationship, often with a modifer, e.g., plural marriage. Since c.1400, the word has been applied figuratively to any close union or blending of any two things. The word dates to c.1300 and is from the Anglo-Norman mariage. Ultimately it is from the classical Latin verb maritare, to marry, used to refer to people, animals, and the crossing of grapes in viticulture and the nouns maritus/marita, husband/wife.

Then you have the history of marriage in general. It's older than the bible. I am not going to go into specifics but from my research marriage started with groups of people getting married. Men and women. In ancient Mesopotamia, even same sex couples got married. Even buried with one another. Same sex marriage is very old even older than the bible. Who says ( same sex couples)  are trying to redefine marriage? Personally I think the Christians are trying to redefine the word. I am highly offended by it too.

The other argument I am going to debunk is the whole "well our country was founded on christian values" Wrong again!! They then go and cite the Constitution. Really? Did you actually read the document? No where does the word bible or god even come up. The word creator has a broad interpretation. I would think if Christians wrote it, it would have god and bible verses all through it. Which it does not. Matter of fact most of our founders were diests. Look that up in the dictionary!

I think what Christians need is a good history lesson, bible reading and knocked the hell off their high horse!! You do not own this country!! You are not the only belief system our country has! Even Thomas Jefferson feared you people getting too powerful. He knew what would happen if the christian god ruled. Hate, forced laws making everyone believe like they do, and even the same thing the pilgrims were trying to get away from a  (government) trying to force religion on the masses. This country was founded on freedom! Freedom for me and you! Not just you!

In conclusion, how does same sex couples getting married and being happy affect you? How does it hurt your marriage? How the hell is it even your business who someone has in their bed? Do you want people telling you how to live your life? Probably not. So if you do not agree in having a same sex marriage, then you have the freedom not to do so. If you do not want an abortion then don't. But don't force your beliefs and values on other people. Two consenting adults have the freedom in this country to do as they please with in the law. You are nobody! Your bible is nothing if a person does not believe in it. Stop citing it and stop the hate.

Screw you Basinger Inc!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Take this job and shove it! I do not get paid enough, promises are not kept, and organization is horrible. I am expected to sit around and not make any plans because who knows there may be a meeting called!!! Amber, screw you!!!

Really? A MANDATORY meeting. Are you kidding me? Instead of being all I am the boss do as I say or else, maybe try figuring out why nobody wants to come to your pointless meetings. It's mainly because they are not on our schedule for the month, they are called at last minute and nobody listens to us anyway. What's the point? Just send out a memo telling us what to do and stop wasting my time. I have three kids, husband, about to start school, have two kids starting school and my husband is starting a new job. I have to plan things. I am sorry that the company does not deem it necessary to plan anything but really that is not my problem. I am not a drop everything type of person. I need schedules and routine.

The thing that bothers me most is we had not even had a meeting in three months. There is no consistency. I would be more willing to go if we had a set time each month, then I could work my schedule around the meetings. Do they ask that? No they go off the deep end like little babies, crying whining and sending stupid notes. The communication is a problem. A real problem.

My boss even threatened Bobby is going to be there. So? Who the fuck is Bobby but his fathers little bitch boy anyway? I am not scared of Bobby. Really he also can kiss my ass. He is a disorganized piece of shit who thinks he does nothing wrong and knows everything. When his father is not around anymore to run the company he will run it into the ground!!! He has already started the process by being a fucking jerk.

I guess this company is not compatible with my beliefs and how my life is. I started looking at the job leads list today. Nothing really interesting there but a few home health companies to look into. I just do not know if I can do this anymore. I am also working on connections with wic and breastfeeding. I plan on attending the Big Latch on Saturday then going to the wic support meetings. Even something volunteer would be helpful. I am looking into making me happy. I want a job where I am appreciated and I am making a big difference. I love the ladies I work for and they will always be dear to my heart but I cannot take the bs any more. I need something more compatible with me and my dreams.