Halloween

Well today is the day! Finally this year I can spend Halloween with my daughter. I have never had it off for the last two years. I cant wait to take lots of pictures of her in her costume. We are planning on staying in Fairpark. Then we are finally going to carve our pumpkin! We wanted to do it earlier but we have been so busy on my days off that it just hasn't happened. I am getting excited about having my baby shower this weekend, and about going to my grandmas surprise party. Its going to be very busy on Sat. Sunday we have to take the dog to training and hopefully I can get Randy started on painting. I am going to help as long as things are well ventlated and I take frequent breaks I should be fine. I still have to order the border. Its really going to be cute after its finally done. I cant wait to get the furniture in there so it looks like a nursery. I have alot of pictures still to hang. I am so glad I am having a baby, I really have wanted another since Tina was three, due to the depo shot I was infertile for awhile. I am kind of glad I was. I would not want two children with Jeff. I would not want another child hurt constantly its bad enough Tina has to get hurt by him sometimes. I hope someday he grows up and becomes responsible. well I am off to get Tina ready for school. I am going to be alone again today til 3. I might get some major cleaning done today. The closet in my room is a mess! Well I hope everyone has a great day.

Baby shower

New week

Its a new week. I am now 33 weeks pregnant and feeling tired all the time. I run out of breath walking from one end of the house to the other lol. I am not sick anymore, no idea how it must of been all the fruit I have been eating, my cold last only a few days. My baby shower is this weekend I am excited. Finally a day about me and Ava. I always put everyone before myself thats just how I am but for once I am going to let people put me first, atleast for one day. My Grandma has a surprise birthday party right after my shower. She has no idea. I am not going to stay long because I cant drink anyway and all the smoking will probably kill me. I shouldnt be around it anyway. I love her and I am glad she is having her 60th birthday I hope she has 60 more. My grandma deserves half the day and I intend on giving her that. I really hope my baby shower is about me and not Char. I dont want to hear about her baby I dont want to see her baby I just want to be with my friends and family talking about my baby. I am actually really nervous about having Ava because of how some of Randys family members have acted. I am afraid that the family is always going to compare the two children and I dont think that is right. Ava is going to be special in her own way. No she is not going to be premature, but she is going to still be special and beautiful. If they dont see that then they don't need to come around. Its not a competition and I should not have to fight to get my daughter noticed too. I mean Randy's sister almost forgot she was throwing me a baby shower on the 3rd!

BAck to work Halloween

I have to go back to work today and tomorrow. I am not looking forward to it. I never am satisfied with the time I spend with Tina and Randy. I cant wait til maternity leave so I can really spend some time with the two of them. I fell asleep as soon as trick or treat was over. I felt bad because I really wanted to spend time with Randy. I didn't get to and I woke up early this morning just so I could see him for a half an hour. I cant wait to finally get to wake up with him this weekend, besides being with Tina its what I love the most about being off. Well I am off to watch doctor phil suspose to be a good one.

I am so tired! I wish I could just stay home and rest. I cant go back to sleep because my throat is killing me and my nose is all stuffy and I cant breath. I have a feeling today is going to be a crappy day. I get paid today but its morgage payment time. By the time we pay that and Randys cellphone we have like 68.00 thats assuming I get paid about 532 or so. Hopefully I get paid more than that. I should I think my training should be on this check. I found out I have to work on Thanksgiving which is good because I will get paid holiday pay. I am kind of sad because I wont get to spend the whole day with Randy but thats life. His mom will just have to start dinner after I go to work. I plan on putting in that I want Easter off. I worked it last year and I really think that me having two kids should be a good reason to get it off. Plus I have to work Thanksgiving this year and everyday up to the next Monday.I bet Karen and Bob get Thanksgiving off. I wont have to work Christmas this year though, (not like we actually celebrate it) We celebrate winter solstice, which is on the 21st or 22nd depending on the year. I cannot wait for materity leave. I am so ready for it now. My legs are killing me. Hopefully they are right about second pregnancy the labor goes fast. I am going to sign up for a breastfeeding class. I think it will give me something to do. We dont have time to take Lamaze not like it helps me anyway. When I am in pain that's all I can think about. I thought about getting a video at the library and watching it with Randy. Well I am going to get a drink and lay down til Tina gets up for school. I have to work tonight so I will probably sleep most of the day at least til the soaps come on or Randy calls me at lunch.

Well today has been better than yesterday, I finally caved and took some meds. I looked up to see if they were safe in a book I have. Both were level b. The only thing that is a level A is water lol so that's pretty good. I got some sleep and I am feeling a little better. The staff meeting this morning was canceled thank goodness! If I have to listen to Tammy's mouth on top of being sick I don't know if I would be able to keep my mouth shut. I never heard some much unintelligent stuff come out of one person.

Randy is getting sick too. Yesterday night, we layed together with Tina in our bed and talked. Tina really enjoyed being cuddled in between us. Then we watch that kid nation show. My daughter really likes it. I think she likes that bratty character Taylor. If my kid acted like that one on tv I would be very embarrassed not to mention disappointed in my child. I can just imagine what that little girl is going to be like as an adult if someone doesnt discilpine her now.

My work is going to love me ( not really) I have to take several days off next month. Tina has teacher conferances and safety city graduation. I am not missing either one. Plus I am going to tell work that I can no longer come in for two hours on Tuesdays. My daugher needs me to take my days off right now. She is going through a rough time and she needs her Mommy. I will only be loosing like 20.00 I am not that worried about it. Plus I am getting really pregnant and I need to rest at home on my days off, that's probably why I am sick now.

My daughter got her school pictures back they are so cute. I have not got the chance to scan it and put it on here yet but look for it soon. Well I guess I better do what I told Randy I was going to do today, rest, and go to work. We need the money if I take today off I am loosing like 70.00 we can't afford that. Plus today is an easy day its Thursday. Well I hope whoever actually reads my rants has a great day. I know I will try to.

Terrible Tuesday

Today has been a terrible day. It started with Randy being late for work then I woke up and realized I am getting a nasty cold. Its raining outside so now Tina wont be able to play outside like I wanted her to. Hopefully the nap I took and the fact I am using a vaporizer starts to help my stuffy nose and throat. I cant take anything, well I refuse to I guess is a better way of saying it. I have taken way too many medicines with this pregnancy I am just going to let my cold run its course. Most of my meds were level bs but I did take one level C. Plus I am not a medicine person anyway. I wont usually take anything for a headache. I might as well get used to it now while I am breastfeeding I cant take anything anyway. Ava is feeling great! She is kicking me like crazy! its probably all the water I am drinking. She is head down and I am so happy! Christina was breech and I had to have a painful procedure done to move her the right way to avoid a c-section. I really did not want to have that done again. I think she has been head down most of my pregnancy I have felt her little hiccups low in my pelvis. I cannot wait to have both of my little girls with me. Our family will be almost complete. I have never seen Randy so happy, he puts his head on my belly and closes his eyes and I know he is imagining having his first child. Dont get me wrong he loves Tina but he was not there for my pregnancy or her birth so its a whole new experience for him. He is father material I knew that the day he met my daughter and went into the play room at my moms house and started playing with her. A month later she asked to go with him to his moms house to play. I let her, and she had a great time with him. They still play together. He has always been the one to put her to bed ever since we moved in together about a year ago. I love it. I love having a husband that loves children as much as I do. He is so much like me, he loves to learn new things. He is constantly thinking of my daughter and I love that about him. Well I am off to blow my damn nose again lol Hopefully I feel better before the weekend I work 24 hours.

My baby shower, Doctors appointment today

I finally got all my invitations for my baby shower. Its going to be November 3red. I am so excited. There are going to be alot of people there that I dont know. I really hope nobody brings their baby because the day is about me and my baby. I know how people get with newborns and especially Randys grandma all she can talk about is Chars baby. I get real sick of hearing about her. Hopefully the day is about me. I think after all I have went through that I deserve one day about me. I mean back when I was throwing up blood, any spit I swallowed and the wonderful stomache acid I did not think this pregnancy was going to make it this far. I am so glad that it has. There were days when I was really scared. I know Randy was too. When I look back the most horrify moment was when I seized in ER and I woke up not knowing where I was. I seen Randy, his face was filled with tears and he had this look of horror on his face. I will never forget that. I knew something bad had happened and that I did more than pass out. I wanted to give up at times I thought I was never getting better. You cant forget those times. All the ER visits, all the times I was hospitalized and away from my daughter. All the times I did not have the strengh to take care of her because I had not eaten in days and I was dehydrated. I am so thankful that I had a great family that helped me through that. My mom kept Tina so that Randy could be with me. Even though I slept most of his visits. I knew he was there. I remember all the nights I cried on his chest making it all wet, and told him I just wanted to die. HG is a horrifying disorder it takes your life away from you. I had no control of anything. I remember when I could not smell food at all or even Randy. If I smelled those things I would vomit. I remember eatting pedilite pops and throwing up each and everyone after I was done swallowing them. I could not eat or drink anything. Not even water. My body was rejecting it. I lost 20 pounds and I looked horrible. I should have been on iv therapy at home but I never got my insurance to cover it. So I had to go to the hospital 1-2 times a week and stay a two to three day span til I was hydrated and could function again. The funny thing about all of this is that this is the second time I did all of this. I did the same thing with Christina. I still graduated from high school on time after being out most the the year. I am proud of myself I have never fully let the disorder keep me from having children or accomplishing my goals. I think I would do it again. Of course Randy and I have alot of talking before that is written in stone. I will have two kids to take care of. I wont be able to do it without the support and help from my family again. I really want to try for a little boy though. If it doesnt happen then I will still be happy. Yeah I would defintly do it all again. I am going to go to a specialist next time though. I also think I am going to take them up on the picc line. I dont have any veins left after the two kids. All the veins in my arms like to blow. Plus I dont want any more scars from ivs. I have plenty between the two times. Well enough of that too many things I am remembering kind of making me teary.

I have a doctors appointment this morning I will update this page when I get back. Have a great day, my daughter is home today I know I will.

My doctors appointment went pretty good. I was measuring a little smaller only by 2 cms though. I asked the doctor about my pressure and she said its normal with second pregnancy and that the baby is face down! I was glad to hear that I dont want any more breech babies. I also asked her about why I was induced with Tina and she said it was due to her being too small for gestational age. The basically thought she was not growing correctly and that she would do better outside of the womb. Makes me worry a little after measureing small. Well I gotta get ready for work.

31 Weeks is wonderful

31 weeks is wonderful. My legs are killing me and I woke up at 1 am to find my fingers swelled. My wedding ring cant come off. I mean they are not swelled bad just enough to keep them on my finger. Nothing else is swelled. I am peeing alot so I am fine. Its normal, no need to even call the . doctor. This did not happen with Tina so I find it kind of weird but every pregnancy is different. I am still having that iron issue, I cant take the vitamins because they make me feel sick. So I have to just eat more meats. Or find away to take them. I am so glad I am off today. I really need a day off. Tomorrow its back to work though. Tina doesn't have school so I will get to spend more time with her.

Finally an update

Ok finally I can tell everyone how Ava got here. She is asleep and I am not too tired. I was suppose to be induced on Wednesday but Tuesday I woke up very campy and by the end of the day my contractions were 6 minutes apart. I called my doctor he sent me to the hospital. I got there about 6:30. I was hooked up to a monitor and I found out that I was 80 percent defaced and that I was going to have the baby on Wednesday no matter what. The pain was not bad at first, so I walked around the hospital to help the contractions. By 9 I was begging for some pain meds. I had to wait til I was 4 cm. The pains would not have been so bad if they would not have been in my legs too. Finally about 11 or so I got the epidural. Randy was freaked out because I moved while they were giving it to me. After the pain meds things went fast. So fast that I started throwing up and passing out. I passed out two times it was pretty scarey. Then at the end the baby was not completly dropped so I had to sit up in the bed and try different positions to help her move. Finally she did. I was 9 cm forever it felt like. I started to push without the doctor. The nurse got her crowned and I had to wait on him to get there. I really was upset because I wanted to push I mean I really felt the urge. Finally he got there and I had two contrations and 4 pushes and she was out. I remember seeing her covered in while vernix. She was crying and all the while Randy looks like he may pass out. He cut the cord and helped get her cleaned up. I was not allowed to get up because my feet could not hold me. She reminds me so much of Tina they look so much alike. I guess both of my girls look like me.

I decided to breastfeed. It is so tough the first few days. You dont have any milk and its a waiting game. I felt terrible that I could not feed Ava right so I did some supplementing til it came in. Well Friday it finally did. Yeah it came alright. I was so engorged I could barely move. Ava loved it though. She started feeding alot better and even though that its painful I love doing it. I know that my child is getting the very best.

Yesterday I got their pictures done with Santa I hope to get them up when I have the time. I also took some cute pictures in front of the Christmas tree. I love having two children and I hope I can balance things out so I give both the attention they need. Its just tough right now, I am just learning the breastfeeding thing so it takes awhile to feed her. I am going to get a pump so that randy can feed her to. Well I guess I better go. I have other things to do while Ava is sleeping. I will keep everyone updated on how my girls are doing.

Birhday party

Tina had a pretty good party. Her friend from school came and a few relatives. I was happy that it wasnt too many people less of a mess for me to clean up. She got skates, a stooter and outfits. So she made out pretty good. I was kind of sad because once again she is growing up. But by the end of the weekend I came to terms with it.

I am now 31 weeks I have hopefully 7 to go. I am feeling ok besides tired. My legs feel better because I am taking more iron. I have a doctors appointment on the 16th I think. Well thats pretty much it for today.

Last Day

Today is my last day of work for awhile. I am going on materity leave as of tommorrow. I am kind of scared about having this child. I hope I can remember what I did with Tina to make her such a good child. I hope Randy and I can work good together as parents like we have so far. I guess everything is making me nervous. I know Randy is scared to death. I have to be the strong one though I am the one with the experiance. I have to reassure him that things will be ok. I am glad he doesnt read my blogs. If he knew how nervous I was it would make him more nervous and he is already chewing again. I wish he would stop but who am I to tell him how to express the way he feels? I think everyone goes through this if you have one or a dozen kids. I am sure everything will be fine. I have a great family to back me and some great friends. I am the most nervous about money. I hope my maternity leave does not mess us up since we just got caught back up. My income is very inportant to my family. I am sure we will be fine I just worry to much. Well I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas I may not be on much in the next few days but look for pictures of Ava. Take care!

Another Snow Day

Tina is home from school today again. She has used up two of her five snow days in one week. I hope the rest of winter is mild. I am not looking foreward to my last weekend at work at all. Of course nobody got the stuff we needed last weekend and I am going to have to get it 39 weeks and all. I am about the only person there that does anything I swear! Last night they forgot to get someone to cover third shift. I had to stay over an half an hour til someone finally relieved me. Yeah I got paid but thats not the point. I have a child to get up for school and if she would not have been closed today I would have been very grumpy toward her because I did not get any sleep. It takes me about an hour to wind down to get to sleep so I was actually asleep by 12:30. Being pregnant defintly does not make that whole situation better. We have alot to do before Christmas I have not even started shopping! We have been broke with bills and baby coming. Tina is not getting much this year unless Jeff pitches in. Last year he did not pitch in at all. With him finally being out of the rear with child support it makes my payments lower and I had to add more money in to pay my car payment. Yeah I use my child support for my carpayment. Some people think that is wrong but what most people dont get about child support is that its a reimbursement of money I have already spent on cloths food and many other things. Jeff is reinverseing me every month for his portion for supporting her. So the money is for me to do with what I want. Plus the child needs a ride back and forth to school and doctors. Without my childsupport I could not afford a car. I really really do not want to go to work tonight. Its the same stuff different day. I really hate driving in the snow and ice I hope I do not have to take those girls out to cash checks. I probably will wait til tommorrow. I will go before noon that way I can relax tonight. Tomorrow I have to work 9 to 9. I have grocery shopping to do. Major grocery shopping. Well I am off to get ready.

Snow Day

Today is a snow day for Tina. Its her first one so she was kind of confused this morning. She did not understand at first why she could not go to school. Once she got it she was excited.

Well in 6 days Ava is going to be here. I am nervous and excited all at the same time. Tina is over the moon. Randy seemed to think I was going to be pregnant forever so he was shocked when I told him I was going to be induced. I really think they should call it eviction no induction. I am evicting this child out of me. I cant wait to be me again. I loved being pregnant besides from April to Aug. but its time to wear jeans again. I probably will be able to fit back into them from the hospital. I hardly gained any weight and when I had Tina I was wearing them again immediately.

29 wekes

I have an over due doctors appointment today. I am a week late on this appointment and doctor Moodleys office had to work me in. I have to drink the sugar water stuff and get blood taken. I will update this when I get back. I really hate needles!

I went to my doctors appointment, and everything was fine! The baby is growing as she should and I am now back to where I started weight wise. I am 156. I gained 8 more pounds since my last visit. Which is very healthy. ( since I lost 20 pounds in the beginning) I have to go back every two weeks now til I am 36 weeks. I asked the doctor about my legs and he said to eat more bananas and exercise. So thats what I am going to do. I of course had to have blood taken but I am sure everything will come out fine with that, since everything else is healthy. Only 11 more weeks to go and I am sure it will go fast. I cant wait to meet Avanelle. I dream about her sometimes, I cant wait to experiance breast feeding and to bond with her. I hope she has Randys beautiful blue eyes. Well she will have blue eyes more than likely I have gray-blue eyes and most of my family has blue eyes. But it takes a few months to be able to tell anyways, their eyes change. I remember that Tinas were blue then as she got older they became hazel like Jeffs. I guess I am getting really excited. I am so glad that the last half of this pregnancy has been healthy! I think I deserve a good last half and a easy delivery for the hell I already went through in the beginning. I mean being admited once a week up to 17 weeks was hell. I am glad I have better insurance so if I ever have another baby I will get the home health care I need. Well I am off to eat some bananas like Dr. Moodley told me to.

Avanelle is coming...

The baby is coming next Wednesday at 6 am. I am so excited!Randy doesnt know yet I cant wait to tell him. I am going to be so glad that its over. She is going to be between 5lbs and 5 13. As big as Tina. Ava is just no longer growing and I think it would be better for her to be here. Come see me.

Finally

No I did not have the baby! I figured the title would fool some of you. Anyway Randy and I finally got the baby's room done. It looks beautiful. The good thing is that we did not spend much. I am very happy. I been having those fake contrations still. Its like a big tease! Everyday I hope they are closer apart. Of course they are not. I have a doctors appointment tomorrow, I hope he has some good news. I been cramping all weekend and I have been so tired. So Hopefully baby is here soon.

Drained

I work every other weekend and this weekend was my turn, I am so sore. My legs are killing I barely can walk. I kind of wish I was gaining weight all over besides just in my belly. I dont know how much longer I can work full time. I thought I could do it but I am tired and sore all the time. I liked it better when I was getting 27 hours. I think its time to call the doctor and see what he thinks. Or I could wait til I see him Thursday morning. Saturday I had one of those Braxton Hicks contractions but I drank a whole glass of water and relaxed and it went away. I really hope I am not over doing it I am only 29 weeks I have a ways to go. Well I guess I will be ok we need the money so I will probably just tough it out unless the doctor doesnt want me to. Well I gotta clean the house today. I love Randy but he is not much of a cleaner.