I finally got all my invitations for my baby shower. Its going to be November 3red. I am so excited. There are going to be alot of people there that I dont know. I really hope nobody brings their baby because the day is about me and my baby. I know how people get with newborns and especially Randys grandma all she can talk about is Chars baby. I get real sick of hearing about her. Hopefully the day is about me. I think after all I have went through that I deserve one day about me. I mean back when I was throwing up blood, any spit I swallowed and the wonderful stomache acid I did not think this pregnancy was going to make it this far. I am so glad that it has. There were days when I was really scared. I know Randy was too. When I look back the most horrify moment was when I seized in ER and I woke up not knowing where I was. I seen Randy, his face was filled with tears and he had this look of horror on his face. I will never forget that. I knew something bad had happened and that I did more than pass out. I wanted to give up at times I thought I was never getting better. You cant forget those times. All the ER visits, all the times I was hospitalized and away from my daughter. All the times I did not have the strengh to take care of her because I had not eaten in days and I was dehydrated. I am so thankful that I had a great family that helped me through that. My mom kept Tina so that Randy could be with me. Even though I slept most of his visits. I knew he was there. I remember all the nights I cried on his chest making it all wet, and told him I just wanted to die. HG is a horrifying disorder it takes your life away from you. I had no control of anything. I remember when I could not smell food at all or even Randy. If I smelled those things I would vomit. I remember eatting pedilite pops and throwing up each and everyone after I was done swallowing them. I could not eat or drink anything. Not even water. My body was rejecting it. I lost 20 pounds and I looked horrible. I should have been on iv therapy at home but I never got my insurance to cover it. So I had to go to the hospital 1-2 times a week and stay a two to three day span til I was hydrated and could function again. The funny thing about all of this is that this is the second time I did all of this. I did the same thing with Christina. I still graduated from high school on time after being out most the the year. I am proud of myself I have never fully let the disorder keep me from having children or accomplishing my goals. I think I would do it again. Of course Randy and I have alot of talking before that is written in stone. I will have two kids to take care of. I wont be able to do it without the support and help from my family again. I really want to try for a little boy though. If it doesnt happen then I will still be happy. Yeah I would defintly do it all again. I am going to go to a specialist next time though. I also think I am going to take them up on the picc line. I dont have any veins left after the two kids. All the veins in my arms like to blow. Plus I dont want any more scars from ivs. I have plenty between the two times. Well enough of that too many things I am remembering kind of making me teary.
I have a doctors appointment this morning I will update this page when I get back. Have a great day, my daughter is home today I know I will.
My doctors appointment went pretty good. I was measuring a little smaller only by 2 cms though. I asked the doctor about my pressure and she said its normal with second pregnancy and that the baby is face down! I was glad to hear that I dont want any more breech babies. I also asked her about why I was induced with Tina and she said it was due to her being too small for gestational age. The basically thought she was not growing correctly and that she would do better outside of the womb. Makes me worry a little after measureing small. Well I gotta get ready for work.
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