Do you always have to choose?

I never thought I would be a mother. I remember as an early teenager having these plans of becoming a teacher, getting married and maybe traveling. I never even really held a baby because I was always intimated by their size. The year 2000 at 16 I got pregnant. My whole prospective of being a mother changed and so did my plans. That is when the order of things changed. I wanted to graduate from high school, get married and finish college. Not as easy as it sounds. So to make a long boring story short my plans changed again. I did not stay married and I did not stay in college. Now here I am at the age of 25 nowhere closer to where I want to be, career wise. But when I look at myself in the mirror I like who I see. I am a mother. A damn good one. I find myself at a cross road again. Do I put off the rest of my family and go to college? Or do I keep doing what I am doing have the third child, then go back to college? Can you have it all? I am sure you can but for me right now I want to focus on my children. Reality, I would not get to spend much time with them between college and working. I could get my associates online but if I want to have another baby, there is breastfeeding and there is the HG. I would fall behind and put myself in a situation where I would end up owing the school money. So right now is not the right time. I am disappointed but here in a year or so I think I may take online classes. After my third baby is born and I get on a routine. I will eventually have a degree but timing is everything. I really admire the people I know that have a career and are waiting on the family. They are carefree. They can go when they please and have fun. Doing things is that order is good and probably makes things easier. I have always loved a challenge. I have always made things harder than they had to be. Instead of going around something I try to hop the hell over it. Does not make life easy but it's my own special way of doing things. Not what most people would consider the right way but not everything is black and white. I will be getting my career when everyone else I know is having the children. I will be done with children before they will be and still young enough to enjoy life. So while I am disappointed I have found some positive things to hold on to. My kids will all be gone when I am in my early 40s. So much life still left. I will enjoy grand kids and finish out the rest of my life with the man I love. Life does not get any more rewarding than that. I will be a teacher someday it just might take me some more time. My first goal is the family. I love my family andwho would have thought that I would be a good mom? I never did. I guess you learn things everyday. Sometimes the last thing you think you will do becomes your passion. I get to be my daughter's first teachers. I get to see them grow and learn. I do not think I would feel complete without my first career, being mom. To answer my own question, yes you have to choose sometimes. But once the struggle is over and my kids are a little bigger, I will have it all. So yes you can have it all. Just sometimes not all at once.