Everything

Work

I have been working since friday with no day off. Its been hard. I have been very tired. I really love it though. The three women I take care of are so much fun. I really enjoy doing for them. One of them has a fish and it died yesterday. I felt so bad for her. I was able to cheer her up which I was glad for. I have to work today til 3:15, so Randy and I will get home at the same time. I then get two days off. I am going to pack and relax my two days. I really think I have earned it considering I worked two 12 hour shifts and I am not used to it yet.

Ava

I am now 21 weeks. Last night Randy felt Avanelle kick. He was surprised by how hard she was kicking. I told him that is why I cant sleep at night. I cant believe how active she is. I feel like its early for her to be this active, but aleast I know she is healthy. I havent gained much wieght back, and I found out I have to gain back the 19 pounds I lost plus an additional 25-35 pounds. So I am starting my wieght gain in the negative.Hopefully this month I have some major wieght gain.

Moving

We are hopefully moving this week. The people appear to be out of the house. We are just waiting on keys. Randy and I are so excited. I am getting kind of upset that we own the house and its empty and we dont have keys. I think its because I am excited and when I get that way I get inpatient.

Family

I really love Randys family, dont get me wrong. I appericate everything they have done. I am however very upset at them. I guess I shouldnt say family I should say grandma and aunt. Its not the whole family. His cousin was pregnant too at the same time. She had the perfect pregnancy, no sickness or anything. Well as you know I was very very sick. Nobody seemed to care til Randys mom got mad and made everyone care. I just feel like my pregnancy is being treated like a mistake while Chars is being treated like a gift from god if you will. Well heres an example, when Char told everyone she was pregnant it was a huge deal. When I told everyone it seemed like the already used up all that energy on her. At first I tried to understand, it took her a long time to get pregnant. Well then I thought about it, it took me a long time to. I was not able to have children when I was married due to the birthcontrol shot I took. I was actually shocked to find out I was pregnant. So it should be the same excitement. Well heres another example, everytime Randys grandma comes to visit all she talks about is Char. I mean its really annoying. Even when I was sick and she came to visit me in the hospital. At the time Char was fine. Well Char had her baby two months early. So once again thats all anyone talks about. I know its a big deal but I cant help to feel cheated, when I was sick they did not care, but now since she had her baby early everyone is at the hospital all the time and everything. Nobody from that side was at the hospital for me. I just wonder if they will even care when the baby comes. Or will they come and talk about Chars baby the whole time. Sorry but for once I want someone to care about what I have went through. I am lucky to have a baby inside of me. Hopefully after this all blows over, we can get back to my pregnancy. I guess I want them to be excited for Randy and I. I guess I want them to visit me and talk about my baby. I know for awhile that wont be possible considering it was early, but I just hope they get over that and dont compare my baby to hers, or my parenting to hers. Well I am sure everything will work out.