Moving on........

Drop it and move on. That is what I am doing. I am going to take my family and move toward our happy future. In two months we are going to have a new little one. He does not need to come into my life when I am all emotional. He deserves better than that. He needs to come into my life with happiness all around him. I intend on doing that. My girls and him are more important to me than anything! The crap that is in my past I need to find a way to let it stay there. You only get to make one happy childhood for your children. You cannot go back and make it happy. If they see mom not there for them and depressed , they will not be happy. I do not want that for any of my children.

So today I put it in a box and I bury it. I bury so far down that nothing can bring it up again. I take my heart and I find the courage to forgive. Not for her but for me. I forgive her because she does not know any better. I forgive her so I can let it go. I forgive her but I do not want her in my life. Mainly because she does not see the problem. I have told her and that is all I can do. I am cutting out all the infection. I am making myself whole. They only person that can make me happy is me. I choose to be happy!!! I choose to wake up and be thankful for what I do have. Not sad because of what I don't. All in all I am a very lucky person. I have a husband that adores me. two beautiful girls and a few family members that love me for me. That is all I need. I am going to surround myself with positive things. I am but a Phoenix out of the ashes. I have been through it all. No idea where I find the strenuous but I always have it. I always come out of my funk.