So I was on cafemom yesterday and there was an interesting question on there. Well someone asked if you check your significant others email and if that is a breach of privacy and trust. For Randy and I it is not. We know all each others passwords. I get on his email and check it for bill information. I also get on his facebook and myspace to change his pictures once in a while. We find it no big deal. Plus we believe what Dr. Phil says people that have nothing to hide, hide nothing.
I trust Randy 110%. I mean I love him. We have an open book relationship though. We are mature enough to know that nobody can get in between us. There is no such thing as that when you are solid. Nobody can cause you relationship problems if you are solid. The only way a person that can come in between two people in a marriage is if someone in the marriage lets them. In my opinion the marriage needs some work at that point.
We are even able to talk about our exs to one another. It's no big deal. I mean they were a part of our lives. People think we are weird. No it's called maturity and respect. We have learned from those relationships so it only makes senses for us to talk about them. I love hearing about his first dates and his first experiences. It's nice we are able to talk about them. I do not get the least bit jealous. That was then and this is now. I might not be his first but I am his last and I am the one he has chosen for life. Nobody can touch that. Nobody.
Randy has all my passwords too. He knows about the the email I got from an old army friend of Jeff where he was hitting on me. He knows about all the times Jeff has texted me hitting on me. He knows about the guy that recently emailed me asking me if I need a new man lol. I told him I was happily married. My life is an open book to him. I share my life with him. So he knows everything and he is quite flattered that there are people that want his wife lol. I still have it!!!
Anyway we are on the same page. So I guess for us it's not even an issue or something we think about.
When I was married to Jeff. I could not trust him. Everything that he said was a lie. So you are damn right I had his shit. I know without trust there is no love. I get that now. I obviously understand that. So yeah I had to check up on him. Because I never knew if he was telling the truth. I recall a time at the end of our relationship where he suddenly wanted privacy. I told him fine well then I get privacy too. The funny thing is he was cheating and lying that is why he needed privacy. No idea why he just did not get a new email address. Dumb ass. Anyway, he would not let me change my passwords then he accused me of cheating lol. I never once cheated until he did. Yeah I am not going to let someone cheat on me and get away with it. So I had a fling. Jeff had lots of flings throughout our relationship. I know does not make it right. I get that. At the time I was mad as hell and was not thinking. So that is a great example of a relationship gone wrong by lack of trust. Never again for me. Jeff has an open relationship so they are allowed to cheat on each other lol. Good luck with that. Cheating is wrong and I was wrong. Jeff did it the whole time and never once felt a bit of guilt. Hell he has sex with my friend down the street from me. Sometimes while I was asleep upstairs in our apartment. We were not even married a year yet. He also had sex with the same chick in my car!! He told me he was doing laundry. Looking back no wonder the man liked doing laundry. Relationship gone wrong. Mistakes and things I cannot change but I learned from.
This above situation is what made me want to try again. I wanted to get it right. I wanted to change take my past and make my future bright. I achieved that. I have that with Randy. I still cannot believe it some days. I finally have everything I ever wanted in a relationship. I am happy.
So yes I do check Randy's email. It has nothing to do with not trusting him. It has nothing to do with checking up on him. It has everything to do with paying bills and having an open book relationship. That is what we have and for us it works. Not for everyone I know but for us it is what makes our relationship solid and strong.
I am very happy. Very! We have a relationship that alot of people are jealous of. I am very flattered by that. I hope it makes people want to work harder at theirs. I think we are a good example of a couple that is getting it right.
I cannot wait for Randy to get home. Yep I am still crushing on him after all these years.
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