Anything Better?

Feeling kinda down today. I think it might be because seems like I am trying to make plans for next month and nothing seems to be falling in place. I find myself stressed and just wanting to cry.

Columbus state still has not processed my financial aid paperwork. I still do not know what books to get. I really am getting frustrated. I plan ahead and this last minute stuff is starting to get me anxious.

Work has been a pain in my ass. I love the ladies I work for. I just hate the disorganization and how I am expected to drop everything and go to a meeting at a drop of a hat. We have not had a staff meeting in three months. Frustrating to have plans and then for them to expect you to change them. It's not going to happen. I am not dropping my life every time they want to act like a "real" business. I feel stuck though and I hate that feeling. The hours work for me and if Randy is on first shift for awhile will continue to be "workable" til he changes. Which is enviable, he will be changing shifts back and forth.

I also found out today that Randy will start his new job the 20th. Right before the kids start school. I am fine with that. I am actually excited. We are testing things out to see if we can afford for me to focus on school and find a better job. I am unhappy. I should not have to be unhappy. I would never just jump and quit. That would make no sense and would put my family in a bad position which is something I would never ever do. So I will be working, going to school and being a mom for awhile. I am fine with that as long as I do not feel stuck. I want options. Will I have them? No idea. Only time will tell.

Today was also the first day of no direct tv. Randy and I decided it's an expense we do not need. Eventually when we can afford it, I plan on buying a smart tv so we can watch netflixs, hulu and get online from our tv. Stay tuned. The Channell household will have a new tv soon and join the year 2012.

Thanks blog! I am feeling better. Just getting my feelings out has always been the best therapy. I always follow up with my husband and I get out of this darkness every time. Writing, talking and I am going to be honest, sex has always been a great stress reliever for me. I will be back to feeling like me by the end of the day. I forgot music. I can turn it on and instantly be in a good mood. Not to mention those smiling faces that belong to my children. I will be fine!! I just have to de-stress and get refocused.