This is the week of change!

This week is Randy's interview for an easier life for us. This week is going to make or break us. I have butterflies in my stomach for Randy. I know he will do great but I can't help being nervous and scared about what this means for our family.

I am not sure if we are on the same page. I really do not think Randy understands that I really want to focus on school work and the kids. I really do not want a job in the equation if I can help it. I am taking two very demanding classes next quarter. I need the time and with a job I am not sure if that would be possible. The more I think the more I love the idea of being at home doing homework and raising our kids. I want to do something I like. Not do some dead end job and put up with the same bs. I do not think he wants that. He wants me to have a job. I would love to work but I also would love to have a degree. I am almost 30 years old. He has more college time in then I do. I need some college time too. I have helped him do what he wants to do. I hope he will be willing to help me.

I have tried to open up the conversation but I think he is dead set on me just finding another job. He is going to have to catch up because while I am open to conversation, I also have the right to do what I want. I would like him to agree, but at the same time I am going to be the one doing everything. I hope he gets that. I just hope soon we can make plans and get on the same page. I want us to be on the same page. Worries me when we are not completely there. Knowing Randy and I, I am making a bigger deal out of this then it really is. He will go with whatever makes me happy. I just don't feel like I communicated clearly what I want.