Why Me?

Most of the time I have a life that is seriously almost like a fairy tale. I have my prince charming and we have lived happily ever after. Times like today are not one of those times. 

Today was horrible. I just want to cry. It's like nothing is good enough for all the people around me. I am just so sick. No matter how much I give, it's not good enough. I try so hard to make other people feel special. I know it's wrong of me to expect or what anything in return and I don't. But once in awhile it would be nice to have a little of the joy I give other people. I am not talking material things I am talking sentimental stuff. Something that shows me that you give a crap about me. Even if to you the occasion does not matter. To me it does. I only have so many birthdays here on this earth. I want each of them to count. 

I am always doing special things for people. Always. Making cakes. Doing special projects. Making presents with the kids. it would just be nice to get some of that back. I want to feel appreciated and loved. Like I matter. I am going to be honest I do not expect to get everything I give back. I just wish and hope that someone would think about me for once. Working 12 hours and coming home to a beautifully clean house would be nice. No instead I come home to a mess. I am just so pissed and hurt. I slammed things and to tell you the truth it made me feel a little better. I then told my husband how I was feeling finally. I had been holding it inside for days. I can't lie I was hoping he just did not have time or that I was coming home to a card or a something sentimental. 

Maybe I am just upset and I do not really mean this but sometimes I feel like the man does not love me. I mean I am always complimenting him, doing special things for him. I get nothing in return. Not a kind word. I know he is a man but how hard is it to say something nice? How hard is it to do something sweet for me to show you love me? Plan a date. Or surprise me? I live and breath him. I am always thinking about him in everything I do. Does he me? See I am not sure. I don't know anymore. I really don't. I feel overwhelmed and very angry right now. I do not know if I can even look at him tonight. I work tomorrow so it is going to suck feeling this way til 9 pm tomorrow with no solution or resolution to the problem.