Sitting here drinking my tea. Hoping these cramps are helping me efface. Thinking about getting into the pool later and just relaxing. I might even take a walk. I am ready for this. Randy is too. We cannot wait to welcome our son into our family. Finally I will have one of each. How crazy is it that the shettles method worked? How crazy is it that we chose the sex of our child? I do not care about the pain stretch marks or all the scarring I have from the zofran pump. It is going to be so worth it soon. Enough for me to forget about it. I will be holding my boy in a week or so. I am so excited!!
I am not sure if my family will be complete. I know for the sake of our financial future I probably should be done. We all know my medical problems are expensive. I owe about 3,000 for the pump that kept me hydrated. I would have never gotten through this pregnancy without it. There were days I wanted to die. So mush vomiting and I was so weak. I even thought that I was going to die of dehydration a few times. I am so glad Randy's mom was there helping me. I do not know what I would have done without her. I doubt Randy will let me have anymore children. I think watching me twice was enough for him. I know he cried every night that I was sick. Now he looks at me and smiles but I know he is still worried. Worried about how this is going to effect my life long term. Being that dehydrated is not good on the body. Hell not good for women period. Especially when it comes to calcium absorption. My bones are probably going to be weak when I am older.
So are we done? I do not know. Not ready to say we are. Not ready to make anything permanent.I would love to have one more. But not sure if my body and my fiances can afford it. When the time comes Randy will get fixed and we will make a commitment to it. But we will not know til Corbin is older. I love children and this is a hard decision for me to make. Maybe I will foster someday. Who knows what the future holds.
No comments:
Post a Comment