Ok I am usually a pretty strong person. Yesterday I finally broke down. I had a bad head ache, Ava would not lach on, I was cooking dinner, Tina was home from school, I was trying to do too many things at once. Randy was also asleep. He is working overtime so that we dont get behind on bills. I could not take anymore. My lack of sleep and all the noise got to me and I broke down and cried like a baby. Having two kids is difficult. Sometimes there is not enough of you to go around. Its alot different from when I worked in the daycare and I had 7 at once. Those seven go home eventally but I have two kids all the time. One of my problems is I worry way too much. I need to stop that. Ava is fine she is getting enough to eat. She is happy after I feed her. Its hard because there is no way to measure breast milk. You have to measure by how she acts and her poop. Tina is also fine. She is starting to understand that the baby just needs more attention right now. Having two kids is like being pulled in two different directions all the time. You worry double time. I thought worrying about Tina was bad now I have a second to worry about. See all the while this was going on I could have just woke up Randy, but I know how we need extra money and how important it is for him to sleep right now. I am sure things will be fine. I love being a Mommy and I am not complaining. I dont have many friends so writing on here is a good way to get my feelings out. Well the baby is due for her next feeding soon. I have to pump also to get a supply in the freezer so Randy can feed her too. Have a nice day!
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